We all want the best for our kids. We want them to be happy, well adjusted and content with their choices in life. But do you ever think beyond that? What life lessons have you learned that you want to pass to your children? It can be something simple or a life altering lesson that you attained the hard way. Are you teaching them now? Or are you watching, waiting and praying that they don't make the same mistakes you made?
Being the mother of a daughter, I feel like I need to teach Roslyn some things. I want her to make her own choices in life, but I'd like to pass on a little knowledge of my own and hope that it influences her decisions. So, here's a list of a few things that I have learned over the years and hope to pass on to my girl.
* Dressing like a slut very rarely gets you treated like anything other than a slut. There is a thin line between dressing sexy and crossing over to the hoochie side. Dressing sexy gives you a sense of power, of confidence. Dressing like a slut makes you look desperate and needy. Although you will get tons of attention, it's not the kind of attention you want. Sure boys will call you, but they are most likely trying to get into your pants, not your heart.
* Learn to drive stick. It sounds weird, but it's a skill you should know. You don't want to find yourself in a situation where you need to drive someone else's car and not be able to, simply because of a manual transmission. If you are the only sober person at a party and your friend's car is a stick.. what would you do? Let them drive because you can't push in a clutch. Every girl needs to know how to drive stick. Besides, it's fun and it looks cool.
* Stop worrying so much about what other people think. Yes, you are going to be talked about. And yes, there are going to be people who don't like you. Of course, you will be gossiped about. It's inevitable. You can't please everyone. But you know that moment when you walk into a room and you feel like everyone is looking at you? Judging you? Most likely they aren't. They are thinking of their own outfits, worrying who is talking about them, and hoping they don't have spinach in their teeth. Just like you, they are too busy obsessing over themselves to concern themselves with whether or not your shoes match your purse.
* Love can come in any shape, size and form. Keep your heart open. Don't judge by appearances. And don't let other's opinions affect how you look at someone. You friends may label someone a dork, but you can make your own assessments. I, personally, prefer the quirkier characters out there. Ditch the cookie cutter image of "what is cool"... people often don't fit into perfect shapes and if they do, it's usually a square.
* Most people define themselves with who they were in high school. Most people constantly talk about their teen years and still shove people into their little cliques, even 20 years after they have graduated. Most people still hang onto traumas that happened to them in high school. They continue to wallow in self pity about how they were treated or mistakes they made. Don't be like most people. High School is four years of your life. If you made it out alive, consider yourself lucky and move on. Stop worrying about if the head cheerleader is still 110 lbs or if the school bad boy ever regrets teasing you about your bangs. Most likely the people who were awful in High School are still awful, but karma will catch up eventually. Do not let four years of pimply cheeks, raging hormones and bad fashion choices dictate who you are today.
* Laugh at yourself. If you can find humor in your own mistakes, sometimes you can beat someone to the punchline. And there is nothing more satisfying than taking that power away from someone. Some people feed off of other's flaw's. We all have them. Acknowledge yours, but there is no need to point out flaws in others. (at least not out loud. Feel free to crack yourself up internally.)
* Cherish your friends. If you find true friendships, hold onto them with all you've got. Friends are the joys in life. Nurture your friendships. I mistreated friends in the past, and I wish with all my heart that I wasn't so careless. I've lost touch with people who I dearly loved and took for granted that they would be there when I decided I to look for them. They weren't.
*My final life lesson is a hard one. You are not going to get everything you want. You are going to be disappointed. You are going to have your heart broken. You are going to lose people that you love. Life is hard. Try to be happy. Try to make those you love happy. Enjoy the small moments and the tiny triumphs in life. If you can find contentment with what you do have, not what you don't... life is much easier.
Most of these lessons, I've learned the hard way, through painful mistakes. Some, to be honest, I haven't quite mastered myself yet. But I'm trying. That's how I feel about parenting, too. You can TRY and teach your kids , but they may not listen. Or they may not realize your were right all along until it's too late. But sometimes you need to fail first to really succeed. Myself, I still feel like I am failing most days, but then I look at my daughter and realize that I've accomplished quite a lot. She's only 7 now and I know that we have many rough years ahead. She's going to mess up. We are going to fight. She's going to get sick of me lecturing, trying to pass on some of these life lessons. But I won't stop. Because maybe in between the yawns and the eye rolls, a few ideas will sink in and I will save her from some of the errors I've made. It's the best I can do, and she deserves the best.
