The Ballad of Teddy Rippedskin

THIS IS DEXTER(AKA LITTLE MAN)


THIS IS DEXTER AND HIS VERY LOVED AND VERY TATTERED TEDDY BEAR.

For some reason, my daughter and I find it hilarious to make up song's about Dexter's teddy. After long deliberations, we have decided that he is young boy recently moved here from England. His name is Teddy Rippedskin (distant cousin to TeddY Ruxpin) He speaks in a very high pitched voice and has a fierce Cockney accent. He's a happy little guy, but is tormented and tortured every day by Dexter. Ros and I hold him and sing his songs while Dexter jumps and barks and trys to rip him to shreds. Here are just a few of the very silly, but very dark songs we sing... all must be sung in high pitched voice, in a london accent, to the tune of "hello, my name is Simon and I like to do drawings..(saturday night live..)"

HELLO, I'M TEDDY RIPPEDSKIN
AND BOY! ME BOOTS ARE SHINY..
WHEN DEXTER CHEWS ME LEG,
I ALWAYS SCREAM "OH, BLIMEY!"

HELLO, I'M TEDDY RIPPEDSKIN
I'M JUST A WEE YOUNG CHAP
BUT WHEN DEXTER COMES FOR ME,
I RUN AND CRY "OH CRAP!"

HELLO, I'M TEDDY RIPPEDSKIN
I LOVE TO WATCH THE TELLY
BUT I CAN'T WATCH IT ANYMORE
CAUSE I'M STUCK HERE IN YOUR BELLY.

HELLO, I'M TEDDY RIPPEDSKIN
AND I SING "LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!"
BUT I WONT LIVE TOO LONG,
BECAUSE YOUR DOG JUST ATE ME SPLEEN.

For some reason, Roslyn and I find these songs hilarious and laugh until our sides hurt. They just go on and on and get sillier and sillier. There is also lots of "oh no, not me eye.." and such. I love that she inherited our goofy sense of humor, even though not everyone gets it. She got a gift for rhyming and she does an awesome english accent. I'm so proud.

AND NOW, HERE IS A PICTURE OF JUST HOW IMPRESSED DEXTER IS WITH OUR LYRICAL STYLINGS.