So, last night, as I lay in bed, coughing my lungs out and my life was flashing before my eyes, (yes, I am still very dramatically sick with the sniffles.) I realized that it will be 14 years since I graduated High School (Holy Sh*t). At first I thought, "ah, I haven't changed that much.." and then it hit me. I am a totally different person now. Compleltey. My old self would totally hate my current self. Take the following examples:
THE OLD ME:
I never, and I mean, ever, left the house without full makeup. Ever. I spent a half hour at least doing my makeup, and then left with a purse full of products for touch up.
THE CURRENT ME:
I am lucky if I even get to wash my face, let alone put makeup on it. And if I do, I forget to use eye makeup remover and look like a raccoon (or slutty girl after the "walk of shame") for two days. My purse is no longer full of makeup, but Happy Meal toys and spit out bubblegum in tissues(thank you, Roslyn). There may be a chapstick somewhere....
THE OLD ME:
Took two showers a day... at least. One before school. One afterschool. Sometimes a bath at night. My hair was clean and shiny and bouncy.
THE CURRENT ME:
If I am lucky, one bath a day, where I try and hide and read a book. I forget to wash my hair. And if I do, it's with Shrek shampoo. And I wash with Dora the Explorer soap paint.
THE OLD ME:
I could stop a guy dead in his tracks with one look.
THE CURRENT ME:
I could literally kill a guy dead with one look at me.
THE OLD ME:
I listened to cool music, watched cool movies, and went to concerts.
THE CURRENT ME:
I sing along to Drake and Josh, get excited when there are new Spongebob episodes, and the last concert I went to was Sesame Street Live.
THE OLD ME:
I wore super cute outfits.
THE CURRENT ME:
I wear super not-cute outfits. Unless, of course, track pants and fleeces make a major statement on the runway this year.
THE OLD ME:
I would walk into a room and the boys would give me appreciative glances.
THE CURRENT ME:
I walk into a room and I still get appreciative glances from the boys but they are six years old, it's usually because I am carrying a tray of snacks.
THE OLD ME:
I had a smokin' hot bod.
THE CURRENT ME:
I've got more of a lukewarm blob.
THE OLD ME:
Was devastated if I had to stay home on a Friday night.
THE CURRENT ME:
is devastated if I have to go out on a Friday night.
THE OLD ME:
I could eat whatever I wanted.
THE CURRENT ME:
I still can, but I just have to do it in bigger pants.
So, I'm a little sad at the loss of old me. I miss old me. I want to get to know her again. Maybe she's on myspace?
Or Facebook.
ReplyDeleteThe new me is actually much better than the old me, thankfully.
LOL Love the Myspace comment.
ReplyDeleteI personally think I wouldn't like the Old you very much, however I do enjoy the new you :) You sound like your a lot more fun now! lol
This coming from someone who is only six years out of high school. lol
Trust me, she'll be back (and better than ever!)
ReplyDeleteAnd, yeah this counts. Anything that happened more than five minutes ago is called a memory in my book.
You are a woman after my own heart..except the smokin' hot bod. I never had one of those..but what I wouldn't give to get that old mediocre, normal..never had kids body back!
ReplyDeleteAWWWW! your good and need to make NO changes! sure, i could be jealous of the old me (u know, her looks, her 'tude, her freedom) BUT i do love me now and i love what this me has!!
ReplyDeleteOh my goodnight! You are funny. I almost wet myself. Of course that is the new me. I never would have wet myself laughing at 20.
ReplyDelete(just visiting from JAM's blog...hope you don't mind)
I really love the part about you killing a guy with one look. And I like my new self better too!
ReplyDeleteit appears the only real differences are hygienic.
ReplyDeletei like the new you. mainly because you sound a lot like me.
spongebob rules.
I do also miss my old self...the one with the tiny clothes and the perfect skin! But I would never go back...NEVER!
ReplyDeleteOld or Young…Young or Old— I don't think it makes any difference. You're still the same YOU no matter what you do.
ReplyDeleteI think we all want to be who we were before, but we all need to be aware that we are always changing hopefully for the better.
My new me is better than the old me. But for some reason, the old me had A LOT MORE ENERGY!!!
ReplyDeletei'd watch out for your myspace twin. i hear she made a sex tape and it got leaked.
ReplyDelete:)
Since I didn't know the old you and know the new you, I can only say - I really like the you today!!
ReplyDeleteJust because the old me and the new me are different doesn't mean one is better than the other.
ReplyDeleteBut that being said, if you want to be the "old" you - then start waking her up - cause she is still inside you. She's just been taking a long vacation (or sleep).
You can do that too - its all up to you.
Oh and I wish WISH I could say its only been 14 years since I graduated (its been more than twice that for me)
26 years since graduation and I totally love the newer me as opposed to the previous version. There's vague shadows of the self-conscious me, the me that would rather take your opinion of me rather than make one of my own...
ReplyDeletegive me today rather than yesterday anytime! :)
feel better ok?? and come over and comment to me, I need your special brand of encouragement :)
Are we twins? Of course fraternal, but are we?
ReplyDeleteYou are cracking me up!!! I know I just had my 15th reunion last summer and I can't believe I have been out of high school that long.
ReplyDeleteAw-you're not a lukewarm blob!
ReplyDeleteIm having my 15 year reunion this fall and I promise you I will not be attending until I kind find a small piece of OLD ME
ReplyDeleteThat is too funny!!! You are so right on every single point!
ReplyDeleteExcept I think Old Me is hanging out on Facebook. That's where everyone else from my high school daze are!
Class of 1993!!
AWWWW! I laughed until by tummy hurt! I'm going through the very same thing and want to meet in the middle of my two extremes.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck to the two of you!
The new you is probably way better than the old you, anyway!
ReplyDeletefunny stuff! The old me wouldn't have anything to do with the new me... but then again, the feeling would be mutual. Heavy sigh. I realized just how old I was last night watching the Golden Globes... I used to live for that stuff! Now, I was bored stiff. Oh well. At least I'm not my mom... yet. =)
ReplyDeleteI hear you loud and clear! That's why I started my little challenge this year - to see if I could get that old me back. She's worth having back, I think! LOL
ReplyDeleteThere is something for you over at the BSU blog! Enjoy!
ReplyDeleteI seriously miss the old me too sometimes!
ReplyDeleteKEL YOU WON THE SUPER STALKER AWARD!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI KNOW I AM TYPING IN ALL CAPS. I AM HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!
Kel - That was a great post! I think I wanna try it sometime but I think I might have a hard time remembering ANYTHING about the old me. She's buried deep. Way deep.
ReplyDeleteCONGRATS on the Super Stalker Award! I can't wait to see your acceptance :D
ReplyDeleteThe thing I miss about the old me the most is the freedom...and my super sweet job at JCPenney's. I made way more money back then and worked a lot less! lol
ReplyDeleteBut really I have become a lot more laid back, but to be honest my fashion sense is way better now, way better.
This was sooooo funny! I just loved it! Your old self would be so appalled at your new self, wouldn't she? But who is happier? Your new self! Am I right? Love the stuff about washing with Shrek and Dora and the fashion of fleece and track pants. That's pretty much my outfit.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I have tagged you for a really neat reading meme at my book blog. The link is here if you are interested. If you don't want to do it, that is fine too!
http://findyournextbookhere.blogspot.com/2009/01/bookshelf-meme.html
Hilarious. Absolutely.Thanks.
ReplyDeletethank you! you just gave me a silver lining for my whole body image, fashion choices, etc..
ReplyDeletei never had all of your old me stuff so i don't miss it at all! lol
and to give you a silver lining, you spend less/no money on makeup, shampoo, water bills, clothing bills, cd's, dvd's, clubs, and you don't have to fight off annoying guys that just want you for shallow reasons.
AND if all that wasn't enough, now you are always dressed in comfy clothes, get to paint funny things on your body, and get to stay home and spend quality time with your kid(s)
:)
Ahhh - just think of it as, you are now so self-assured you can pull off any look! (at least that is what I tell myself!)
ReplyDeleteI am right there with you. I miss the things my old self could do but I I love the people that my new self has gained....like my kids (sometimes)! Know what I mean?
ReplyDeleteI think I like your new me!
ReplyDeleteI don't think you can have the old me anymore. Well not me me, but you you. You know? I know.
ReplyDeleteI am actually, honestly rolling! Add some wet-naps I took from the fast food restaurant to your purse and I believe we have the same life!!! I see no need to celebrate that 15 year mark next summer, either!
ReplyDeleteROFL...Myspace or Facebook...seems that is the place to be now.
ReplyDeleteLoved this!
ReplyDeleteI remember the old me...I haven't seen her in years!
ReplyDelete