Hesitant Housewife: family

Happiness is...
having a great group of girlfriends, all incredibly different and unique, but alike in the qualities that really count: loyalty, respect, morals, the ability to consume mass quantities of alcohol, sing karaoke and talk for hours about nothing and everything at the same time.

Happiness is...
a great husband who puts up with your insane mood swings and your uncanny ability to constantly embarrass him in public.

Happiness is...
a great kid who is an odd mix of your weird sense of humor and your husband's sweet nature.

Happiness is...
watching someone you hate fall down a flight of stairs. (What? You really didn't think I was all that deep, did you?)

Happiness is...
being greeted by uncontrollably happy dogs when you walk in the door.

Happiness is...
a great hair day, a super cute outfit and some kick ass shoes.

Happiness is...
a big fat book, a snowy day, hot chocolate and a blanket to curl up in.

Happiness is...
introducing your kid to the magic that is "The Goonies".

Happiness is...
signing corny eighties songs with your husband in the car at the top of your lungs.

Happiness is...
looking at old pictures and not thinking about how incredibly thin you were, but remembering all the fun you had.

Happiness is...
introducing yourself to something new, something that you never even realized you needed in your life, but you did.

Happiness is...
knowing that you don't have much, but you have what you need.

So, I've been thinking a lot lately about life lessons. You know what I mean, those big things that people in my life have taught me. Where did I get my sense of humor from? My fear of spiders? My overwhelming anxiety? My kindness to animals? My naive sense that everyone is a good person deep down? Where did all that come from? And most of all, what am I handing down to my daughter?

My dad has always been a pretty influential person in my life. But I don't think he knows that. We have a silly relationship. We joke. We tease each other. But we don't talk serious all that often. But the few heart to hearts we have had have made a big impact on me. And to be perfectly honest, the goofy moments have made me who I am too.

So, the life lessons dad has passed on to me are a big 'ol mix of serious and silly, just like dad himself.

LIFE LESSONS FROM DAD
1. Farts are funny. No matter the time of day or night.

2. Don't disrespect your mother. Ever. You can tease her kindheartedly, but don't you dare cross that line from funny to vicious.

3. There is no worse feeling in the world than disappointing your parents. There is no punishment or grounding that hurts as bad as the sentence, " I am really disappointed in you."

4. Don't judge people by appearances. Dad is not always the most "put together" person when it comes to appearance. He is a casual man... to the extreme. I think I've seen him in a suit once, at my wedding. He's dealt with some prejudice as far as people assuming he's some dumb hillbilly, but the truth of the matter is that he's much smarter than most people I've encountered.

5. If you can't buy it, build it. If you look around hard enough, you can find the parts to build just about anything. He once fixed my mom's car with parts from a shopping cart and a welding machine.

6. You may be dirt poor at some point in your life, but your kids don't need to know it. We went through a few years where my dad was unemployed, but he provided any way he could. He hunted. He fished. He crabbed. He fixed cars. He plowed snow. I never knew how bad it was until I was older. I never noticed that mom and dad didn't sit down to eat dinner with us, that they were waiting until we were done and they would eat the scraps. Dad would entertain us with funny stories and keep us occupied so we never even thought about the fact that they weren't eating. We had fun the old fashioned way.. playing outside, going sledding, drawing, playing games and getting on mom's nerves.

7. If someone is really mad at you, make them laugh. Seriously, don't give up until you make them giggle, at least a little. Perseverance pays off. When I was teen and would get into my mopey moods he would sit across from me at the table and make faces at me until I finally cracked. It's hard to hate someone when they are picking their nose and pretending to wipe it on your brother.

8. You're gonna go through some crazy shit in your life. You can't keep all those memories to yourself forever. My dad is a Vietnam vet. As a kid, I always knew there were certain things we didn't ask Dad about it. He didn't talk about it. But one day, it just all poured out. We were watching tv and he just started talking. And he talked for hours. I think it was a release for him. His stories about his war experiences taught me a lot about him.

9. Don't let yourself get lazy. Find a hobby. Dad has tons. He used to be a big car buff, but since his heart surgery he has found other things to do. He rebuilds clocks, he builds fishing rods, he buys and fixes boat motors for resale. He hunts. He fishes. He is always busy. He always has something going.

10. Don't take life for granted. Dad had a huge scare a few years ago. He had an aortic dissection. He had major open heart surgery, a new procedure that he was basically a guinea pig for. But it saved his life. I can tell that he looks at life differently now. Do what you want now, but do it safely and make sure your family knows you love them. You might not be there tomorrow to tell them.

And I guess the biggest lesson that he ever taught me is that people in your life are not perfect. But you love them anyway, embarrassing antics and all.