Thursday, July 9, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Would You Rather Wednesday..Beach Edition
Welcome back to Would You Rather Wednesday! For those of you who have never played before, here are the rules. I give you a few questions with two possible answers. You must pick one! DON'T EVEN TRY TO SAY NEITHER! I MEAN IT, PEOPLE! ANYONE WHO SAYS NEITHER WILL BE BANISHED FROM BLOGDOM FOREVER...and I will also give you a big 'ol pimp slap on your way out. I'm warning you now...
So, anyway.. welcome to a Beach Edition of Would You Rather Wednesday...
1. Would you rather live in an episode of Lost or Miami Vice?
2. Would you rather camp on a secluded beach or party it up at an wild beach resort?
3. Pee on someone to save them from Jellfish sting ? or remove a hemit crab from a fat man's speedo?
And for you Bonus Gross Out Question...
Would you rather have a midnight roll in the sand with....
The Hoff?
Or Gilligan??
And before you even ask, no, you can't have them both. Dirty little hoochies....
So, anyway.. welcome to a Beach Edition of Would You Rather Wednesday...
1. Would you rather live in an episode of Lost or Miami Vice?
2. Would you rather camp on a secluded beach or party it up at an wild beach resort?
3. Pee on someone to save them from Jellfish sting ? or remove a hemit crab from a fat man's speedo?
And for you Bonus Gross Out Question...
Would you rather have a midnight roll in the sand with....
The Hoff?
Or Gilligan??
And before you even ask, no, you can't have them both. Dirty little hoochies....
Tuesday Rambings...
So, let's see.. what's going on with me? Um, nothing actually, but that's not very interesting, now, is it? So, I guess I've got to dip deep and come up with something fascinating. Or at least something that will keep you from skipping on to the next blog in your reader...
*I've been AWOL on my blog for awhile now. I wish I had a good reason for it. I've moved to an exclusive Caribbean island and having trouble finding a reliable internet connection? I've been having a wild affair with Gerard Butler and he just leaves me too exhausted to type? Nah, not really. The truth is, I've just been lying around with my girlfriends at the pool like a sloth on morphine.
*I've found a possible replacement for Edward Cullen in my heart. His name is Po and he's in the book Graceling.. have you read it?
*I'm back working. From home. Just simple, data-entry, easy-peasy stuff. I was "laid off" for awhile, and now I am just trying to be grateful for extra income and not complain about the mind-numbing boredom of it all. Thank God for Pandora Radio and Jimmy Fallon on DVR. (Oh, Jimmy, I love you.)
*We saw Transformers 2 for Date Night this week. It sucked. I was so dissapointed. My Whoppers were all soggy from my tears. (or, they would have been if I hadn't housed the whole box during the previews.)
*The summer weather is making me crave a good concert. Well, that and ice cream. And naps.
*I wish I could promise that I would be a better blogger, but really, I'm a summer slacker. Besides, who would lay sizzling in the sun, eating fudgescicles and screaming at the kids in the pool if I didn't, huh? Think of the kids, people.
So, that's it. That's all I've got. For more intersting Random-ness go to the UNMOM, for links to more dedicated bloggers. But don't leave me for good. They won't love you the way I do.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Random Post Redux #3
I had this scheduled for Saturday... I don't know why it didn't show up. Sorry, everyone! Once again, I'm hosting a Random Post Redux. Post a random, previously-used entry on your blog and give it another chance at stardom!! Link up with Mr. Linky at the bottom and we'll follow ya over to your site! Here is mine!
Previously posted on April 12, 2009
The Patron Saint of Irritated Husbands
My husband and I will be celebrating our ten year wedding anniversary next month. I am the first to admit that I am difficult to live with. I am shocked that he has put up with me for that long. The following are just a few examples of his miraculous patience.
** We had not been dating too long when my parents invited him over for dinner. My brother and I decided to class up the dinner with a fart machine under my chair. We waited until a silent moment and then... rip. My brother and I were laughing so hard he choked on his chicken parm and had to leave the table to puke in the bathroom. Of course, he continued to hit the fart remote while I sat and snorted like an idiot. Hubby just kind of giggled a little and turned beet red.
** The other week we were sitting in a parking lot trying to find directions to a new restaurant. I spot two birds out my window.
ME: Do birds have sex?
HIM: Yes (still typing on the GPS)
ME: I've never seen them do it.
HIM: (he sighs..) Well, the do. Maybe they're just private about it.
ME: Well, then where are their little wieners?
HIM: (slamming shut the GPS) Kel, they have wieners and they have sex... OK??
ME: Geez... well, excuse me, Mr. Know-it-all.
** We were feeding the geese at the park with our daughter. One goose dips her neck in the green water and guzzles some down.
ME: ewww! They actually drink that water?
HIM: (rolls his eyes.) No, they don't. They have bottled water shipped in (walks away, shaking his head.)
** I have this thing where if someone tells me NOT to do something, I have to do it. I don't know why. I've always been that way. One winter morning,when we were living in our first apartment, Craig went out to warm up his car. We had had an ice storm the night before. He came back in to get something to scrape the ice off his car. I offered to help. He told me not to go out there. The parking lot was covered in ice. That's where he made his mistake. A few minutes later he goes back out. I follow him, with my trusty spatula, ready to show him how it's done. I get to the front step and he says. "Kel! I said don't come out here! It's too dangerous!"
I get very snotty with him. "Don't you tell me what to do!" , and I step off the bottom step. "I wanna heeeeeeeellllllpp". And then I fall. I slide across the entire parking lot, on my ass. I make eye contact with him as I glide past. He just sighs. I finally come to a rest at the other end of the lot. I try to get up. Because I was stupid enough to put on slippers before I went out, I now find it impossible to stand up. And I have to wait there, in my nightgown, halfway across the apartment complex, for him to come help me get up. After five minutes of my whining, he comes over. He doesn't say a word, just shakes his head.
** A few years ago we were watching the Olympics on TV. I say to him. "I bet I can still do a handstand."
He looks over at me. "No. Please, don't."
Now he did it.
"Don't tell me what to do." I go to the middle of the room and do the coolest and most awesome handstand that has ever been done in the history of handstands. He doesn't say anything. "You didn't even look!" I yell at him.
"Yes, I did. It was cool. You're lucky you didn't hurt yourself. Now, could you move?" He looks past me to the TV.
Oh, no he didn't. I put my hands on my hips. "No! You didn't look! Watch!!" And this time I do another super-cool, spectacular handstand.. except this time, I fall over backwards and break my toe. To this day, I look at my crooked second toe and blame him.
** When I was pregnant I told him I was dead set against getting an epidural.
HIM: Why don't you want an epidural? It's gonna hurt, Kel."
ME: I'm not gettin' one. I don't want my legs all numb.
HIM: What? Why not?
Me: Because! What if I need my legs?
HIM: For what?
ME: I don't know!! What if I something happens and I need to run out of there or something??
HIM: (sighs and shakes his head, again.) Kel, where do you think you are going to need to go so badly when there is a baby hanging out of you?
ME: I don't know... but I sure won't be able to get there with jelly legs, will I?
HIM: Point taken.
So, there you have it. Just a few reasons that my husband should be appointed to sainthood. The fact that he hasn't killed me yet is unbelievable.
Previously posted on April 12, 2009
The Patron Saint of Irritated Husbands
My husband and I will be celebrating our ten year wedding anniversary next month. I am the first to admit that I am difficult to live with. I am shocked that he has put up with me for that long. The following are just a few examples of his miraculous patience.
** We had not been dating too long when my parents invited him over for dinner. My brother and I decided to class up the dinner with a fart machine under my chair. We waited until a silent moment and then... rip. My brother and I were laughing so hard he choked on his chicken parm and had to leave the table to puke in the bathroom. Of course, he continued to hit the fart remote while I sat and snorted like an idiot. Hubby just kind of giggled a little and turned beet red.
** The other week we were sitting in a parking lot trying to find directions to a new restaurant. I spot two birds out my window.
ME: Do birds have sex?
HIM: Yes (still typing on the GPS)
ME: I've never seen them do it.
HIM: (he sighs..) Well, the do. Maybe they're just private about it.
ME: Well, then where are their little wieners?
HIM: (slamming shut the GPS) Kel, they have wieners and they have sex... OK??
ME: Geez... well, excuse me, Mr. Know-it-all.
** We were feeding the geese at the park with our daughter. One goose dips her neck in the green water and guzzles some down.
ME: ewww! They actually drink that water?
HIM: (rolls his eyes.) No, they don't. They have bottled water shipped in (walks away, shaking his head.)
** I have this thing where if someone tells me NOT to do something, I have to do it. I don't know why. I've always been that way. One winter morning,when we were living in our first apartment, Craig went out to warm up his car. We had had an ice storm the night before. He came back in to get something to scrape the ice off his car. I offered to help. He told me not to go out there. The parking lot was covered in ice. That's where he made his mistake. A few minutes later he goes back out. I follow him, with my trusty spatula, ready to show him how it's done. I get to the front step and he says. "Kel! I said don't come out here! It's too dangerous!"
I get very snotty with him. "Don't you tell me what to do!" , and I step off the bottom step. "I wanna heeeeeeeellllllpp". And then I fall. I slide across the entire parking lot, on my ass. I make eye contact with him as I glide past. He just sighs. I finally come to a rest at the other end of the lot. I try to get up. Because I was stupid enough to put on slippers before I went out, I now find it impossible to stand up. And I have to wait there, in my nightgown, halfway across the apartment complex, for him to come help me get up. After five minutes of my whining, he comes over. He doesn't say a word, just shakes his head.
** A few years ago we were watching the Olympics on TV. I say to him. "I bet I can still do a handstand."
He looks over at me. "No. Please, don't."
Now he did it.
"Don't tell me what to do." I go to the middle of the room and do the coolest and most awesome handstand that has ever been done in the history of handstands. He doesn't say anything. "You didn't even look!" I yell at him.
"Yes, I did. It was cool. You're lucky you didn't hurt yourself. Now, could you move?" He looks past me to the TV.
Oh, no he didn't. I put my hands on my hips. "No! You didn't look! Watch!!" And this time I do another super-cool, spectacular handstand.. except this time, I fall over backwards and break my toe. To this day, I look at my crooked second toe and blame him.
** When I was pregnant I told him I was dead set against getting an epidural.
HIM: Why don't you want an epidural? It's gonna hurt, Kel."
ME: I'm not gettin' one. I don't want my legs all numb.
HIM: What? Why not?
Me: Because! What if I need my legs?
HIM: For what?
ME: I don't know!! What if I something happens and I need to run out of there or something??
HIM: (sighs and shakes his head, again.) Kel, where do you think you are going to need to go so badly when there is a baby hanging out of you?
ME: I don't know... but I sure won't be able to get there with jelly legs, will I?
HIM: Point taken.
So, there you have it. Just a few reasons that my husband should be appointed to sainthood. The fact that he hasn't killed me yet is unbelievable.
What I'm Lovin' Right Now...
Once again, I am totally stealing an idea from Jess over at Nerdy Jess. Because I'm a follower, not a leader, people! I'm having some major blog inspiration brain farts lately. So, what do I do? I "borrow" from other bloggers. 'Cause I'm ruthless like that. And please, check out and follow Jess. She is the awesomest! (yeah, that's a word.)
Ten Things I am Lovin' Right Now:
1. The fact that Hubby and Kid are out with our friends at an Ice Cream Social thingy and I have the house to myself. (With my own bowl of ice cream and a screening of the movie Snatch, all to myself.)
2. Chillin' with my girlfriends and our kids during the week. We've got like twenty kids between us and they're all buddies. They swim, we gossip and talk about swimming laps for exersize and never quite get to it.
3. Iced Tea, by the gallon. It's hot out. Nothing but iced tea will do. Or booze. Whichever.
4. Our weekly date night with friends. Every Thursday is "date night". We go out to dinner, the movies, or just hang out at each other houses and play games and drink. This week it was take out and the game "Catch Phrase". It got funnier with each drink. Here is a taste of the conversation:
B: Ok, this is a country....
L: RHODE ISLAND!
5. Family movie night. We've been having a lot of these lately. We're working our way through the classics. Princess Bride, Big, Goonies, etc.
6. No alarms in the morning!! woo hoo!! My daughter has this monkey alarm clock that drives me effing nuts during the school year!
7. The massive pile of books that I've got waiting for me!
8. Fireworks! Can't wait until the 4th! I Love me some fireworks!
9. The fact that I've got my job back for awhile. I know, I know. I complain. I want to go back to school. But Craig lost all his overtime right around the time I was considering quiting for good. They ran out of work for me for awhile, but I'm back. And we need it. I've definitly got enough work to keep me busy for the entire summer and then some.
10. Cold suppers, like salads and sandwiches. No oven! Easy clean-up!
So, what are so happy about? Make a list on your blog and play along!!
Ten Things I am Lovin' Right Now:
1. The fact that Hubby and Kid are out with our friends at an Ice Cream Social thingy and I have the house to myself. (With my own bowl of ice cream and a screening of the movie Snatch, all to myself.)
2. Chillin' with my girlfriends and our kids during the week. We've got like twenty kids between us and they're all buddies. They swim, we gossip and talk about swimming laps for exersize and never quite get to it.
3. Iced Tea, by the gallon. It's hot out. Nothing but iced tea will do. Or booze. Whichever.
4. Our weekly date night with friends. Every Thursday is "date night". We go out to dinner, the movies, or just hang out at each other houses and play games and drink. This week it was take out and the game "Catch Phrase". It got funnier with each drink. Here is a taste of the conversation:
B: Ok, this is a country....
L: RHODE ISLAND!
5. Family movie night. We've been having a lot of these lately. We're working our way through the classics. Princess Bride, Big, Goonies, etc.
6. No alarms in the morning!! woo hoo!! My daughter has this monkey alarm clock that drives me effing nuts during the school year!
7. The massive pile of books that I've got waiting for me!
8. Fireworks! Can't wait until the 4th! I Love me some fireworks!
9. The fact that I've got my job back for awhile. I know, I know. I complain. I want to go back to school. But Craig lost all his overtime right around the time I was considering quiting for good. They ran out of work for me for awhile, but I'm back. And we need it. I've definitly got enough work to keep me busy for the entire summer and then some.
10. Cold suppers, like salads and sandwiches. No oven! Easy clean-up!
So, what are so happy about? Make a list on your blog and play along!!
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