Would You Rather Wednesday..

All right, you know how to play! I give you some questions, with 2 possible answers. You HAVE to pick one. You cannot say neither! Saying "neither" will result in a terrible, burning rash in your nether regions.

Now here we go...

WOULD YOU RATHER...

have 500 followers (on your blog) that only comment occasionally or a 30 followers who post regularly?

Skip Christmas or your Birthday?


Have a billboard of you in your underwear in Times Square? Or a 10 minute sex tape of you sent to 5 of your friends?

And now.. for you Gross Out Question...
Would you rather...

Have wild, dirty sex with ...

Andy Dick

Or Clay Aiken...


To be honest, I think they'll enjoy as much as you will...

She makes it all worthwhile.....

This is what my baby girl gave me the other day.....


She used her scrapbook kit from Christmas.It says ..(or is suppossed to say...) "Thank you for taking care of me. You are the best."
Totally unprompted, out of the goodness of her sweet little heart. Days like this make me think I'm doing things right.

Because Nothing Cures The Flu Like a Pug Hug...

Roslyn and Dexter (aka Lil Man..) this morning! She's back, ladies and gentlemen! She's back!!

Here's where I get complicated..

I am all kinds of pissed off tonight.. and really what better way to get back to blogging, than with a rant?

I don't even know who I am more mad at, me or my husband. Here's the story: Ros has been sick since last Wednesday. Longer than that actually. For a week before that she was sleeping like 4 hours a night due to her allergies and post nasal drip. So of course, who stays up with her? Me. Fine, I get that. I work from home, I set my own hours. He needs his sleep. Whatever.. But last time I checked, I do too. The doc put her on antibiotics last Wednesday. It was such a strong dosage.. she got sick. I mean, diarrhea sick.. it was awful. It was pouring out of the kid. We went through a twenty pack of underwear in a day. Every time she coughed she leaked. She crapped herself in her sleep. It was awful. So Friday night, I was up with her all night. Does husband get up? No. What does he do Saturday morning? Goes for a four hour bike ride. I let it go, it was his birthday. Saturday night she is puking her brains out and crapping her pants all night. Does he get up and help me? No. He swears he doesn't hear her..but really he has to. I am in and out of the bedroom getting underwear all night. (her dresser is in our room). She continues to be sick until yesterday when she spikes a fever and she goes to the ER. When we get home and the kid is freaking comatose on the couch with fever, shivering, what does he do? He spends the evening getting his bike ready for today's ride. Are you effing kidding me?? God dammit...

Now, here is the problem. I am sure you are all thinking right now.. "what a jerk. I would kill him." But its not that simple. Because he asked me if he should go. And what do I say? I say "whatever. It looks like you're getting ready to go anyway." and "I'm not gonna be the mean guy and say no." I never say "please stay. I need help". But I also don't say, "yeah, you should go." You know why? Because I want him to want to help. (I sound like Jennifer Anniston in The Break-up) But it's true. I want him to think, "Wow. Kel's had a rough time with all this lately. She looks exhausted. Maybe she's gettin' sick of cleaning puke and scrubbing poo out of underwear." I want him to love me enough to want to make it better for me. I want him to think that I am good mom and I am killing myself with worry and I need a break. I don't want to have to tell him to feel that way. I want him to just feel it. I want him to consider that maybe Roslyn would love for her dad to spontaneously grab a book off the shelf and read to her to give a me rest.

But again, I'm mad at myself because this is the way it's always been. I always keep my mouth shut about it, and seethe over things. He's not a mind reader. And maybe I seem like I don't need help.

Now I am gonna regret this post in the morning. Because my husband is not a jerk. He is a caring father and husband. I love him with all my heart. But right now, I am just feeling a little neglected. Right now, I am upset. Right now, I am beyond exhausted. And right now, I am really wishing that he could just read my mind and know that I don't always say what I mean. That sometimes I just want him to want to help, whether I let him or not. Which I probably wont, because I don't want him to be tired for work and I don't want him to get sick.

Hey, I never said I wasn't complicated.

Don't leave me!

My poor baby girl is sick as a dog.. so it looks like my absence will be a little longer... so bear with me, readers! I'll be back! Don't go ditching me for some floozie....she won't love you like I do!

The Plague has hit again...

I am sick. Sickety, sick, sick, sick. I am a whiny, snotty, feverish mess of a woman.. and I will not be blogging today. I have tons of emails to answer and lots of comments owed to you all.. but for now I will leave you with this.

Why? Because it's awesome that's why..duh. And just for tickles.. here's another one... you're welcome.

And now you can go read other more serious blogs about world peace and politics and realize just how shallow I really am. Seriously people, this is about as deep as I can get today.

ps. I am slowly collecting everyone's buttons.. don't be insulted if yours isn't listed yet.. just haven't gotten to it yet.. I swear.. It will be there.. soon!

Would You Rather Wednesday!

Allright, to those of you who are new.. this is how ya play! I give you a question with two possible answers and you have to pick one! You can't pick neither! Leave a comment with your answers and explanation and leave your link with Mr. Linky to post your own "Would You Rather" questions on your blog! Questions can be serious or silly or just plain gross. It's all for fun!

Now my questions this week:

Would you rather...

have the ability to read other people's thoughts?

or

or see the future?

And your bonus gross- out question:

Would you rather..

French kiss Dick Cheney for 10 minutes

or

take a 20 minute bubble bath with Dr. Phil? (and no, sorry ladies., you can't pick both! You little hussies!)

Now, play along with me!

Note to Self : It's not the Black Plague.

I have another cold, and once again, my dramatic side has kicked in. The following is a note to myself, reminding me to keep my cool.

1. It is not the Plague. It is a cold. You have the sniffles, a little cough. There are no festering boils or loss of limbs.

2. Do not, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, go to Webmd.com to check your symptoms. You do not have HIV. You do not have nasal cancer.If you can't help it and find yourself on the site,take the first response they give you, a common cold. Leave the site immediately before you start researching that small lump on you big toe.

3. Yes, it is humanly possible for a person to produce this much snot. You do not have a overactive mucus disorder.

4. Although it may make you feel better, moaning at the top of your lungs, does not help.

5. Repeatedtly saying, "How come nobody takes care of me when I'm sick? I take care of all of you!!", does not make people want to help you.

6. You can breathe.. out of your mouth.. if you would stop moaning non-stop you would realize that.

7. 98.9 is not a fever and does not require panic. You just drank coffee, dumb ass.

8. Stop eating everything in site. You can't taste it anyway.

9. If you are going to lie around and moan, do it in the bedroom. The couch in the living room is not your private sick bed. You can not yell at people to "shut up, can't you see I'm sick here? Let me die in peace!" The living room is common ground and people are allowed in there.

10.You will live. There is no reason to "get your affairs" in order.

Quick update on Mom

She's still in the hospital. I am still worried sick. Her temp is down, but they are bringing in a lung specialist.. which scares me. I don't know anything else at the moment, but I will keep you all posted!

Are you EFFING KIDDING ME?????????????

Ok, I can't take it anymore. Seriously, if one more person I love gets sick.. I'm gonna... well, I'm gonna...do something. And it will probably involve some sort of hissy fit.

My mom has had a cold for a few days. Today I called her and she sounded like crap. I told her I would take her to the doc and she argued with me. So, I did what every responsible daughter does in this situation. I told her to shut up, hung up on her and called the doctor and made an appointment. I then called her back and said, "Get your ass dressed. I'm coming to get you."

Now, I realize that sounds harsh, but you do not know my mother. She is the mother hen, literally. She spends all day, every day,waiting on us all, worrying her self sick, and spending all her free time doing something for everyone else. She does not take care of herself. She had not been to the doctor in 5 years.

So after a an hour of waiting for her to hem and haw and wash her hair and take the dog out and make sure the coffee pot was off 15 times, we left for the doc.

The nurse took her temperature. Looked at it and shook her head. She then got out a new thermometer and tried again, grabbing mom's wrist to check her pulse. She then proceeded to literally run out of the room and get the doc from another patient. They put her on the Ekg machine. Her temperature was 104.6!! Her heart rate was 140.
The wanted her to go next door immediatley for x-rays. And do you know what she said ? "I think I need to go home first and think about it." I dragged her miserable butt to the radiology lab and 15 minutes later we found out she had Pneumonia and they were admiting her to the hospital.

I am worried sick. They just hooked her up to antibiotics and fluids. She looks awful . My dad will not leave her side. I meant that, literally. Not even to use the bathroom. I had to go get his pills and take them to him at the hospital. He wouldn't go get anything to eat, so I had to go get him some food and make him eat it.

My parents are the most devoted couple I have ever seen. They are so tight, it almost makes us kids feel like intruders. I mean, of course, we aren't, but they are each other's half and it's obvious. My dad is a recent heart patient, so now I am worried about him as well. He cannot afford to get sick. His health is shaky as it is.

So, those of you that pray.. could you say a little prayer for my parents tonight? Those of you who don't, please just keep her in thoughts and hug your parents if they still bless this earth. I love my mom so much and I am so scared for her.

Son of A................

First of all.. thank you all so much for your concern over Roslyn. She seems to be improving alot. I took her to the doc yesterday for a follow up visit and she has a double ear infection! The doc put her on Augmenten and already she is perking up! But guess who isn't? Yes, mothers across the world know what happens when you spend 5 nights in a row, worrying over your child, catching vomit in you hands, wiping snotty noses and pleading with your child to take yucky medicine. How are you rewarded for your hard work?? Say it with me, Mommies...."YOU GET SICK!" (as a damn dog to be precise)

Ah, good times. Anyhoo.. I'm sure I'll live. I'm just glad my little lady is feeling better for Santa. That's all I wanted to get for Christmas anyway.... well, that and an ipod.

Anyway, thank you to all my wonderful bloggy friends! I am so happy to have gotten to know you all in these past few months! Hope you all have a great holiday season!

ok, experienced mommies.. I need advice..

I would like to know what you consider to be a fever with your child? Is anything over 99 a fever? Or 100?

I always freak when Ros has a fever. It freaks me out. She has a sore throat now and her temp is 99.5 is that even considered a fever? She's acting fine. The only reason I took her temp is beause she said she was hot and her throat was a little sore. I know if I call the doc, they will say bring her in. They will then throw amoxycillin at me and throw me out. But I don't want her on anitbiotics if it's a virus. They always give us antibiotics. My gut tells me to give a few days, and see if it gets worse.. what do you think? what would you do?

and yes, I am a worrisome mom. That's why I have one kid, I couldn't handle the worry of two!!

ps. what's considered a fever in an adult? just curious...

Update...

Thanks everyone for the tips with the eye drops. We do the lie down thing and have her close her eyes. We put the drops in the corner of her eye and tell her to open her eye. It works.. sometimes.
I don't know if the stomache bug and the pink eye are related.. both have been going rampant through her school. I told her this is what "karma" is. She faked sick on Monday and look what happens! She said "How did you know I was faking?"Um... Duh..

So, she's got the day off tommorrow. That's gonna be fun. She is already complaining about being bored. God help me.

Houston... We Have Pink Eye...

At 12:30 today I had a mild heart attack when I recieved a call from Roslyn's school. (really.. can't they just start out by saying.."everything's fine.. don't freak out.. " But they don't.) The nurse said " This is the school nurse and we have some questions for you." (come on.. is this an interrogation?? why am I sweating?) " Did Roslyn seem ok this morning?" Um, yeah. She then said."Roslyn has what appears to be pink eye. And she had an accident." This is where I freak. "An accident? What kind of accident?" The nurse pauses and says "Fecal."

Oy.. couldn't she have said "she messed her pants". My God. Still, that freaked me out. Because she is six and has not had "accidents" for years.

So we go to the doc and she has a virus. She's got eye drops for her eyes, Immodium for her tummy and brand new stuffed dinosaur because Mom is a sucker for a sick kid.

And now, I have to go hold my child down, kicking and screaming, and try and squirt medicine in her eye. I have a feeling I'm gonna come out of this covered in bruises.

Are you kidding me???

How is it possible that I am sick again?? Another cold.. the third in three months. Well to be technical about it, one bout of pneumonia and two colds in three months. Seriously, if someone sneezes in a ten mile radius, I get sick. Anyone have any tips of building up your immune system? I have been taking some expensive GNC Women's vitamins.. but they don't seem to be doing much. Should I be eating oranges? Taking herbal supplements?Do you have a secret weapon that helps you avoid colds??

Sick Again..

I just spent 29 bucks on vitamins to try and boost my immunity. These little f*ckers better work or somebody at GNC is gettin' punched.