Let me draw your attention to this little bit of news.
Zhu Zhu Pets Danger
What the hell were you thinking? How can you do this to me? Do you have any idea that carnage that will ensue in my house if there are no mechanical little rodents under our Christmas tree this year? Do you understand the fact that no other gift under that tree will satisfy my seven year old daughter this year?
Last week, I was breathing a sigh of relief. I had blanketed Ebay with bids on these little robot weasels. I was ecstatic when I finally won several bids, spending well over 120 bucks on this lab rat and his accessories...
Oh but wait, maybe lab rat isn't a good name for him, considering you didn't even properly test the damn things!! What the hell? Did you spend all your safety testing funds on advertising these little menaces during every single commercial break on every network? (really, I think CNN could have been spared the nuisance, don't you?) You made damn sure that you worked our kids into manic frenzy, ensuring them that all the "cool" kids would be finding your stupid hamsters under their tree Christmas morning. But you didn't make sure they were safe?
So tell me, you toy making geniuses, how am I supossed to explain this to my kid? Sorry hun, Santa didn't love you enough to give you that little rat you wanted so badly. Maybe if you could be just a tad bit better next year, you could be unwrapping a motorized cuddly cockroach, which is sure to be the next fad. Yeah, I know the kid down the street got this prized toy that you've been dying to have, but his parents must not have watched the news. You know those elves that lovingly make all the toys at Christmas? Yeah, those stupid bastards forgot to make sure that they weren't using toxic metals while creating them. Poor thing, wipe those tears off your cheeks and try and get over your heartache. Merry Christmas.
So, what do I do now with these expensive ass robotic pieces of crap? huh? Maybe next time you try and start a major toy craze you could make sure the toys are safe first? How about an asbestos stuffed bear next year? Hows about some glass baseball bats? Maybe some LSD crayons? Sounds like a marketing superstorm to me!
So, in closing I have one last thing to say.... ZHU ZHU SUCK!
