We all want the best for our kids. We want them to be happy, well adjusted and content with their choices in life. But do you ever think beyond that? What life lessons have you learned that you want to pass to your children? It can be something simple or a life altering lesson that you attained the hard way. Are you teaching them now? Or are you watching, waiting and praying that they don't make the same mistakes you made?
Being the mother of a daughter, I feel like I need to teach Roslyn some things. I want her to make her own choices in life, but I'd like to pass on a little knowledge of my own and hope that it influences her decisions. So, here's a list of a few things that I have learned over the years and hope to pass on to my girl.
* Dressing like a slut very rarely gets you treated like anything other than a slut. There is a thin line between dressing sexy and crossing over to the hoochie side. Dressing sexy gives you a sense of power, of confidence. Dressing like a slut makes you look desperate and needy. Although you will get tons of attention, it's not the kind of attention you want. Sure boys will call you, but they are most likely trying to get into your pants, not your heart.
* Learn to drive stick. It sounds weird, but it's a skill you should know. You don't want to find yourself in a situation where you need to drive someone else's car and not be able to, simply because of a manual transmission. If you are the only sober person at a party and your friend's car is a stick.. what would you do? Let them drive because you can't push in a clutch. Every girl needs to know how to drive stick. Besides, it's fun and it looks cool.
* Stop worrying so much about what other people think. Yes, you are going to be talked about. And yes, there are going to be people who don't like you. Of course, you will be gossiped about. It's inevitable. You can't please everyone. But you know that moment when you walk into a room and you feel like everyone is looking at you? Judging you? Most likely they aren't. They are thinking of their own outfits, worrying who is talking about them, and hoping they don't have spinach in their teeth. Just like you, they are too busy obsessing over themselves to concern themselves with whether or not your shoes match your purse.
* Love can come in any shape, size and form. Keep your heart open. Don't judge by appearances. And don't let other's opinions affect how you look at someone. You friends may label someone a dork, but you can make your own assessments. I, personally, prefer the quirkier characters out there. Ditch the cookie cutter image of "what is cool"... people often don't fit into perfect shapes and if they do, it's usually a square.
* Most people define themselves with who they were in high school. Most people constantly talk about their teen years and still shove people into their little cliques, even 20 years after they have graduated. Most people still hang onto traumas that happened to them in high school. They continue to wallow in self pity about how they were treated or mistakes they made. Don't be like most people. High School is four years of your life. If you made it out alive, consider yourself lucky and move on. Stop worrying about if the head cheerleader is still 110 lbs or if the school bad boy ever regrets teasing you about your bangs. Most likely the people who were awful in High School are still awful, but karma will catch up eventually. Do not let four years of pimply cheeks, raging hormones and bad fashion choices dictate who you are today.
* Laugh at yourself. If you can find humor in your own mistakes, sometimes you can beat someone to the punchline. And there is nothing more satisfying than taking that power away from someone. Some people feed off of other's flaw's. We all have them. Acknowledge yours, but there is no need to point out flaws in others. (at least not out loud. Feel free to crack yourself up internally.)
* Cherish your friends. If you find true friendships, hold onto them with all you've got. Friends are the joys in life. Nurture your friendships. I mistreated friends in the past, and I wish with all my heart that I wasn't so careless. I've lost touch with people who I dearly loved and took for granted that they would be there when I decided I to look for them. They weren't.
*My final life lesson is a hard one. You are not going to get everything you want. You are going to be disappointed. You are going to have your heart broken. You are going to lose people that you love. Life is hard. Try to be happy. Try to make those you love happy. Enjoy the small moments and the tiny triumphs in life. If you can find contentment with what you do have, not what you don't... life is much easier.
Most of these lessons, I've learned the hard way, through painful mistakes. Some, to be honest, I haven't quite mastered myself yet. But I'm trying. That's how I feel about parenting, too. You can TRY and teach your kids , but they may not listen. Or they may not realize your were right all along until it's too late. But sometimes you need to fail first to really succeed. Myself, I still feel like I am failing most days, but then I look at my daughter and realize that I've accomplished quite a lot. She's only 7 now and I know that we have many rough years ahead. She's going to mess up. We are going to fight. She's going to get sick of me lecturing, trying to pass on some of these life lessons. But I won't stop. Because maybe in between the yawns and the eye rolls, a few ideas will sink in and I will save her from some of the errors I've made. It's the best I can do, and she deserves the best.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
When You Wish Upon a ...Blog.
Remember when you were a kid and it was time to blow out those birthday candles? Those little wax sticks had so much magic in them, didn't they? I remember thinking that those 8 little flames really held the powers of the universe in them. If I could just blow them all out in one breath, anything was possible. A puppy? Sure thing kid, just blow! You want a unicorn to give you a ride to school everyday? Allrighty, give me a big 'ol huff and you'll be arriving at elementary school in a blaze of rainbows and fairy dust.
And lots of other things held that magic as well. The turkey wishbone was a prize, waiting on the windowsill to "dry out" until you and your brother could stand toe to toe, in a fight for supernatural powers. If you got the bigger piece, it was gonna be a snow days for the next month. Your brother would just waste his wish on something stupid, like Transformers or a new set of Spiderman Underoos. This was a fight for the ages, you had to win!
Of course, the biggest wish granter was the elusive shooting star. If you could look up in the night sky and find one those, you were golden. Shooting stars held that mystical celestial power. You could trade places with a movie star, see the future, or make that super cute boy that sat next to you in math class fall madly in love with you. The possibilities were endless.
As I've grown up that magic has lost some of it power. I no longer even attempt to blow all the birthday candles out. That old turkey bone? Ewww.. that's unsanitary. It's hitting the trash with the rest of the leftovers. But falling stars? They still seem a little mystical, don't they? I saw one last night as I was letting our dogs outside. I have to admit, I hesitated a moment. Then, I closed my eyes tight, took a deep breath and.....nothing. I couldn't think of a single thing. For a few seconds, I considered a bigger house. But nah, that comes with a bigger mortgage payment. Win the lottery? Meh.. that'd kind of be like cheating everyone else who plays, wouldn't it? That wouldn't feel right. Lose some weight? get healthier? Yeah, but I can do that on my own, don't really need to go wasting all the powers of the universe on that kind of nonsense.
I realized I no longer need to wish for my "knight in shining armor". I've got one of those. Sure, he's not decked out in metal armor and riding a white steed... but he is wearing a nice hoodie I bought him and riding a mountain bike and I like that better anyway. (I don't have anywhere to house a horse, and the laundry is difficult enough without adding a head to toe metal ensemble.) I'm not really interested in changing places with anyone anymore. Yeah, it might be kind of fun to wake up in the morning and find myself inside the body of Angelina Jolie. A little morning romp with Brad wouldn't be so bad. But that girl's got a lot of kids and a whole lot of image to live up to. I prefer my one precious little girl and nobody's standards to live up to, but my own.
It dawned on me that I know longer need all those enchantments. I am pretty happy where I am. I opened my eyes. The star was gone, along with my childhood idea of "the world would be perfect if I could just have....". The world is pretty darn perfect the way it is.
Sorry, Brad Pitt. I could have rocked your world.
And lots of other things held that magic as well. The turkey wishbone was a prize, waiting on the windowsill to "dry out" until you and your brother could stand toe to toe, in a fight for supernatural powers. If you got the bigger piece, it was gonna be a snow days for the next month. Your brother would just waste his wish on something stupid, like Transformers or a new set of Spiderman Underoos. This was a fight for the ages, you had to win!
Of course, the biggest wish granter was the elusive shooting star. If you could look up in the night sky and find one those, you were golden. Shooting stars held that mystical celestial power. You could trade places with a movie star, see the future, or make that super cute boy that sat next to you in math class fall madly in love with you. The possibilities were endless.
As I've grown up that magic has lost some of it power. I no longer even attempt to blow all the birthday candles out. That old turkey bone? Ewww.. that's unsanitary. It's hitting the trash with the rest of the leftovers. But falling stars? They still seem a little mystical, don't they? I saw one last night as I was letting our dogs outside. I have to admit, I hesitated a moment. Then, I closed my eyes tight, took a deep breath and.....nothing. I couldn't think of a single thing. For a few seconds, I considered a bigger house. But nah, that comes with a bigger mortgage payment. Win the lottery? Meh.. that'd kind of be like cheating everyone else who plays, wouldn't it? That wouldn't feel right. Lose some weight? get healthier? Yeah, but I can do that on my own, don't really need to go wasting all the powers of the universe on that kind of nonsense.
I realized I no longer need to wish for my "knight in shining armor". I've got one of those. Sure, he's not decked out in metal armor and riding a white steed... but he is wearing a nice hoodie I bought him and riding a mountain bike and I like that better anyway. (I don't have anywhere to house a horse, and the laundry is difficult enough without adding a head to toe metal ensemble.) I'm not really interested in changing places with anyone anymore. Yeah, it might be kind of fun to wake up in the morning and find myself inside the body of Angelina Jolie. A little morning romp with Brad wouldn't be so bad. But that girl's got a lot of kids and a whole lot of image to live up to. I prefer my one precious little girl and nobody's standards to live up to, but my own.
It dawned on me that I know longer need all those enchantments. I am pretty happy where I am. I opened my eyes. The star was gone, along with my childhood idea of "the world would be perfect if I could just have....". The world is pretty darn perfect the way it is.
Sorry, Brad Pitt. I could have rocked your world.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Thousand Words Thursday.........
Haven't played this in so long!!
Check out my baby girl.. turning into such a sweet young lady!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Question of the Weak - Time Travel
Well, hello there... I'm back with a Question of the Weak for you!! You can leave your answers in the comment section or use the question to spark your own blog post. Or you can be a big dork and not play along and we will all stare at you with looks of disappointment and hatred and slowly but swiftly shun you from the blog world. Your choice.
So, here is our question...(drum roll..) IF YOU COULD TIME TRAVEL AND VISIT ANY TIME PERIOD, WHERE WOULD YOU GO AND WHY?
This is a super easy question for me. Regency England. Just think, me, in a Jane Austen novel. I think of myself as quite a classy lady. I think I'd fit in quite well actually. (did you just laugh?) Can you picture it? Long flowing gowns, men in cute hats riding over hills on horseback, servants serving me tea while I do my embroidery. There would be balls and dances, music lessons, carriage rides to visit grand estates where handsomely grumpy bachelors would live with their beloved but shamed sisters. Best of all, Colin Firth swimming in a lake that I would stumble upon quite by accident while out strolling. Oh Mr. Darcy, you're all wet!! How improper! *this is the part where I would blush furiously, and try to hurry away.. but he would grab my arm and say , "wait! I've loved you! I've always loved you!"
Ok, hang on. I'm not really being true to the question here, am I? I said TIME PERIOD not fictional setting, (although really, Darcy? Could you be more delicious?).
Ok here we go, take two. Me. Regency England. Long flowing dresses, check. Corsets? hmmm. Long carriage rides through the country? That sounds good. Servants serving me tea while I embroider? I like the servants part, but I'll take a Iced Mocha instead of tea and though I do enjoy needlework... I think I'd get bored quickly. Maybe some trashy novels to read? I'm relatively sure they didn't have Gossip Girl back then. I'm not too talented when it comes to music, so maybe I could take dance lessons instead? Come to think of it, I'm not too great at that either. Karate then. I'll be the only girl in the village who can whoop some real ass. And you know, I don't think I'd be able to say "ass." Or kiss a boy before being engaged to be married (and even then, scandalous!) and well, I'm of the "try it before you buy it" persuasion, so that won't do. And didn't those pretty horses that pull the gorgeous carriages crap all over the streets? Then I'd have to walk through those streets in my gorgeous gown to get to my karate lessons? Hmmm.. I'm having second thoughts here. And now that I'm curious about it.. how often did they bathe back then? And chamber pots? EWWWWWW...
All right, the Regency time period.. not for me. I love the thought of it. The romance of it all, but was it really that romantic to live it? Probably not. Maybe I should set my time machine for a more recent time period? How about the 60's? Sex? Drugs? Rock and Roll? Yeah, that sounds about right. Now.. if I could just take Mr. Darcy with me. I think he'd look great in tie-dye, don't you?
So, here is our question...(drum roll..) IF YOU COULD TIME TRAVEL AND VISIT ANY TIME PERIOD, WHERE WOULD YOU GO AND WHY?
This is a super easy question for me. Regency England. Just think, me, in a Jane Austen novel. I think of myself as quite a classy lady. I think I'd fit in quite well actually. (did you just laugh?) Can you picture it? Long flowing gowns, men in cute hats riding over hills on horseback, servants serving me tea while I do my embroidery. There would be balls and dances, music lessons, carriage rides to visit grand estates where handsomely grumpy bachelors would live with their beloved but shamed sisters. Best of all, Colin Firth swimming in a lake that I would stumble upon quite by accident while out strolling. Oh Mr. Darcy, you're all wet!! How improper! *this is the part where I would blush furiously, and try to hurry away.. but he would grab my arm and say , "wait! I've loved you! I've always loved you!"
Ok, hang on. I'm not really being true to the question here, am I? I said TIME PERIOD not fictional setting, (although really, Darcy? Could you be more delicious?).
Ok here we go, take two. Me. Regency England. Long flowing dresses, check. Corsets? hmmm. Long carriage rides through the country? That sounds good. Servants serving me tea while I embroider? I like the servants part, but I'll take a Iced Mocha instead of tea and though I do enjoy needlework... I think I'd get bored quickly. Maybe some trashy novels to read? I'm relatively sure they didn't have Gossip Girl back then. I'm not too talented when it comes to music, so maybe I could take dance lessons instead? Come to think of it, I'm not too great at that either. Karate then. I'll be the only girl in the village who can whoop some real ass. And you know, I don't think I'd be able to say "ass." Or kiss a boy before being engaged to be married (and even then, scandalous!) and well, I'm of the "try it before you buy it" persuasion, so that won't do. And didn't those pretty horses that pull the gorgeous carriages crap all over the streets? Then I'd have to walk through those streets in my gorgeous gown to get to my karate lessons? Hmmm.. I'm having second thoughts here. And now that I'm curious about it.. how often did they bathe back then? And chamber pots? EWWWWWW...
All right, the Regency time period.. not for me. I love the thought of it. The romance of it all, but was it really that romantic to live it? Probably not. Maybe I should set my time machine for a more recent time period? How about the 60's? Sex? Drugs? Rock and Roll? Yeah, that sounds about right. Now.. if I could just take Mr. Darcy with me. I think he'd look great in tie-dye, don't you?
Monday, January 4, 2010
The Obligatory New Year's Post...
It has to be done. The New Year's Resolution Post. I tried to ignore the pull of the Internet, tempting me to reveal all my first of the year goals to strangers across the globe.. but I failed. (plus, I haven't blogged in ages, and it's an easy topic.)
I have to say, I hate New Years Resolutions. I have nothing against setting goals.. but could you pick a worse time? Could there be a more horrendous moment to try and start dieting than the dead of winter? It's freakin' freezing out, I want macaroni and cheese! And yep, I'm gonna start a marathon training program at 5am on a 8 degree morning, instead of staying under the mounds of blankets and sleeping for another two hours? I think not, Baby New Year. I think not.
I do however have some plans for this year.. and most of them can be done within the confines of my warm and comfy home.. pj's and all. It's all about convenience.
My biggest goal for the year is to be happy. Can I be more vague? But I mean it as simply as it sounds. I want to be happy. I want to let go of the past, stop worrying so much about the future, and just be happy right now. I tend to dwell on the past... wondering "what if?". But the past is done, and the future is yet to be, so I might as well live in the moment.
One of the things that make me happy is being creative. I've lost that side of myself lately. It's time to find my "inner Martha" again. I love to make jewelery, scrapbook, sew, cook...etc. But I haven't made time for it. I'm itching to get crafty again. And as you can tell, I haven't exactly been a dedicated blogger lately either. I used to spend hours writing stories or blogging, and that part of me lies dormant at the moment. I plan on easing that big bear out of hibernation in the coming months.
I'm trying to find pleasure in the simple things again. I'm not keeping up with the Jones's and to be honest, I find them quite uptight and boring anyway. I want my daughter to learn to live within her means, and be content with what she has. I want us to enjoy more family nights at home, playing games and watching movies. I would like to cut our "entertainment budget" and spend more time doing more meaningful things. We can wait until movies come out on video. We can make dinner together instead of eating out all the time. We can go for a walk outside instead of through the mall with coffees and full shopping bags in hand. We have enough stuff. I'm sick of stuff. I want peace of mind.
And sure, I've got the whole "healthier eating" thing on my list of goals... but I am thinking more about "natural" products than "fat free". I've been looking at our cabinets lately and I'm shocked at how much junk we eat. I'd like to move to more organic cooking and snacking. I think I was in denial about how many preservatives and artificial foods we eat. I am guilty of Splenda overload in my coffee and I have a big time issue with Coke Zero Vanilla. It's a problem. I've been having some health issues lately, and I can't help but wonder if it's all this junk in our food causing it.
I guess if I had to label 2010 (pronounced twenty ten), I'd call it "2010 - The Year of Being Content". I want to stop worrying about what people think.. and just be happy and grateful. I will dress for me, not concerned with other's opinions. (yes, that is a Super Mario Bros shirt I am wearing... do you have an issue with that?). I will finally start renovations and begin decorating this house the way we want it. Our house is small, and I hate it. But it's time I let go of the fact that everyone else has a bigger house, and just be happy that we have a roof over our heads. I will decorate it in the quirky style that my husband and I both love. I will find joy in good deals at yard sales and flea markets again. I will not feel the need to buy brand names because of the label, but I will buy things because I love them. I will declutter and release unwanted items from this house. I HATE clutter. And we will continue to give to charity, because there are people out there who would love to have the "burden" of clutter.
So, in closing, I've got big plans for 2010. But I won't call them resolutions, because I won't put that pressure on myself. This year I will be... well, just plain happy.
ps. oh yeah, and I will stop using "quotation marks" so much...
I have to say, I hate New Years Resolutions. I have nothing against setting goals.. but could you pick a worse time? Could there be a more horrendous moment to try and start dieting than the dead of winter? It's freakin' freezing out, I want macaroni and cheese! And yep, I'm gonna start a marathon training program at 5am on a 8 degree morning, instead of staying under the mounds of blankets and sleeping for another two hours? I think not, Baby New Year. I think not.
I do however have some plans for this year.. and most of them can be done within the confines of my warm and comfy home.. pj's and all. It's all about convenience.
My biggest goal for the year is to be happy. Can I be more vague? But I mean it as simply as it sounds. I want to be happy. I want to let go of the past, stop worrying so much about the future, and just be happy right now. I tend to dwell on the past... wondering "what if?". But the past is done, and the future is yet to be, so I might as well live in the moment.
One of the things that make me happy is being creative. I've lost that side of myself lately. It's time to find my "inner Martha" again. I love to make jewelery, scrapbook, sew, cook...etc. But I haven't made time for it. I'm itching to get crafty again. And as you can tell, I haven't exactly been a dedicated blogger lately either. I used to spend hours writing stories or blogging, and that part of me lies dormant at the moment. I plan on easing that big bear out of hibernation in the coming months.
I'm trying to find pleasure in the simple things again. I'm not keeping up with the Jones's and to be honest, I find them quite uptight and boring anyway. I want my daughter to learn to live within her means, and be content with what she has. I want us to enjoy more family nights at home, playing games and watching movies. I would like to cut our "entertainment budget" and spend more time doing more meaningful things. We can wait until movies come out on video. We can make dinner together instead of eating out all the time. We can go for a walk outside instead of through the mall with coffees and full shopping bags in hand. We have enough stuff. I'm sick of stuff. I want peace of mind.
And sure, I've got the whole "healthier eating" thing on my list of goals... but I am thinking more about "natural" products than "fat free". I've been looking at our cabinets lately and I'm shocked at how much junk we eat. I'd like to move to more organic cooking and snacking. I think I was in denial about how many preservatives and artificial foods we eat. I am guilty of Splenda overload in my coffee and I have a big time issue with Coke Zero Vanilla. It's a problem. I've been having some health issues lately, and I can't help but wonder if it's all this junk in our food causing it.
I guess if I had to label 2010 (pronounced twenty ten), I'd call it "2010 - The Year of Being Content". I want to stop worrying about what people think.. and just be happy and grateful. I will dress for me, not concerned with other's opinions. (yes, that is a Super Mario Bros shirt I am wearing... do you have an issue with that?). I will finally start renovations and begin decorating this house the way we want it. Our house is small, and I hate it. But it's time I let go of the fact that everyone else has a bigger house, and just be happy that we have a roof over our heads. I will decorate it in the quirky style that my husband and I both love. I will find joy in good deals at yard sales and flea markets again. I will not feel the need to buy brand names because of the label, but I will buy things because I love them. I will declutter and release unwanted items from this house. I HATE clutter. And we will continue to give to charity, because there are people out there who would love to have the "burden" of clutter.
So, in closing, I've got big plans for 2010. But I won't call them resolutions, because I won't put that pressure on myself. This year I will be... well, just plain happy.
ps. oh yeah, and I will stop using "quotation marks" so much...
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