I won't even give the usual excuses...I haven't been posting. I have neglected this blog for too long and it's time to get back to it. I don't think I even realized how much I needed this outlet.
So, let's get you up to speed on this exciting life of mine, shall we? It's been a busy summer. We spend lots of time with our friends, chillin' at the pool and gossiping (not about you, I swear.) It's great to have a group of friends that I can totally be myself with and not have to worry about judgement and cattiness. I adore my friends, life would be miserable without them.
We had a few dramatic weeks with Craig last month. It all began on Saturday morning, during a yard sale we were having with some friends. Craig had gotten up at 5am or so, and went to help set up. I went over around 7. Everything seemed fine. Then at 8am , he walks up to me and whispers in my ear, "Um, I've been peeing blood all night."
My reaction was, of course, anger. (what? that's not normal?) You see, this is an ongoing thing with Craig. He likes to pretend things are fine when they aren't. And it literally takes hours to get anything out of him when something is bothering him. We've have major fights over this. Why the hell hadn't he told me last night? Why did he come over and set up the yard sale? And then waited another hour to tell me after that? Ok, yeah, I was concerned.... but I was more mad. His excuse was, "I didn't want to worry you." And my response to that lovely sentiment was, "God dammit! Why can't you ever just do things the easy way?" Again, I was a shining example of the caring wife.
So, we left the yard sale (leaving our friends with our crap and a huge crowd of people). The Er was amazingly empty and we were in and out with a diagnosis of kidney stones within a few hours. That was just the beginning.
I had no idea just how painful kidney stones are! I mean, they took down my 240 pound husband and had him in the fetal position for days. They gave him Percocet and it didn't even touch the pain. (And yes, just so you know, my wife and motherly instincts did kick in and I took care of him. Not even one kick in the kidneys, thank you very much.) It turns out he had a 8x7mm stone! (that's pretty impressive in the kidney stone scene.) He had surgery last Tuesday and all is well now. (fingers crossed.) He had to strain his pee and keep the stones for analysis. And let me just say that nothing adds to the bathroom decor like a pee strainer and specimen jars filled with sediment.
Hmmm... what else? Not much actually. We helped some friends move, had a few date nights, my birthday, Ros made orange belt in Karate. That's it really. I have read tons of books and really need to get my butt in gear with the reviews.
There is one more month of summer of here, so I am sure my postings will be erratic for August but I plan on doing a blog challenge for September. (anyone do NABLOPOMO?)
So, I guess that's it for now.I will try and post more if I can ever get my kid off of ClubPenguin.com. I'll start back with Would You Rather Wednesdays next week. Hope you are all having a great summer!
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Random Post Redux #3
I had this scheduled for Saturday... I don't know why it didn't show up. Sorry, everyone! Once again, I'm hosting a Random Post Redux. Post a random, previously-used entry on your blog and give it another chance at stardom!! Link up with Mr. Linky at the bottom and we'll follow ya over to your site! Here is mine!
Previously posted on April 12, 2009
The Patron Saint of Irritated Husbands
My husband and I will be celebrating our ten year wedding anniversary next month. I am the first to admit that I am difficult to live with. I am shocked that he has put up with me for that long. The following are just a few examples of his miraculous patience.
** We had not been dating too long when my parents invited him over for dinner. My brother and I decided to class up the dinner with a fart machine under my chair. We waited until a silent moment and then... rip. My brother and I were laughing so hard he choked on his chicken parm and had to leave the table to puke in the bathroom. Of course, he continued to hit the fart remote while I sat and snorted like an idiot. Hubby just kind of giggled a little and turned beet red.
** The other week we were sitting in a parking lot trying to find directions to a new restaurant. I spot two birds out my window.
ME: Do birds have sex?
HIM: Yes (still typing on the GPS)
ME: I've never seen them do it.
HIM: (he sighs..) Well, the do. Maybe they're just private about it.
ME: Well, then where are their little wieners?
HIM: (slamming shut the GPS) Kel, they have wieners and they have sex... OK??
ME: Geez... well, excuse me, Mr. Know-it-all.
** We were feeding the geese at the park with our daughter. One goose dips her neck in the green water and guzzles some down.
ME: ewww! They actually drink that water?
HIM: (rolls his eyes.) No, they don't. They have bottled water shipped in (walks away, shaking his head.)
** I have this thing where if someone tells me NOT to do something, I have to do it. I don't know why. I've always been that way. One winter morning,when we were living in our first apartment, Craig went out to warm up his car. We had had an ice storm the night before. He came back in to get something to scrape the ice off his car. I offered to help. He told me not to go out there. The parking lot was covered in ice. That's where he made his mistake. A few minutes later he goes back out. I follow him, with my trusty spatula, ready to show him how it's done. I get to the front step and he says. "Kel! I said don't come out here! It's too dangerous!"
I get very snotty with him. "Don't you tell me what to do!" , and I step off the bottom step. "I wanna heeeeeeeellllllpp". And then I fall. I slide across the entire parking lot, on my ass. I make eye contact with him as I glide past. He just sighs. I finally come to a rest at the other end of the lot. I try to get up. Because I was stupid enough to put on slippers before I went out, I now find it impossible to stand up. And I have to wait there, in my nightgown, halfway across the apartment complex, for him to come help me get up. After five minutes of my whining, he comes over. He doesn't say a word, just shakes his head.
** A few years ago we were watching the Olympics on TV. I say to him. "I bet I can still do a handstand."
He looks over at me. "No. Please, don't."
Now he did it.
"Don't tell me what to do." I go to the middle of the room and do the coolest and most awesome handstand that has ever been done in the history of handstands. He doesn't say anything. "You didn't even look!" I yell at him.
"Yes, I did. It was cool. You're lucky you didn't hurt yourself. Now, could you move?" He looks past me to the TV.
Oh, no he didn't. I put my hands on my hips. "No! You didn't look! Watch!!" And this time I do another super-cool, spectacular handstand.. except this time, I fall over backwards and break my toe. To this day, I look at my crooked second toe and blame him.
** When I was pregnant I told him I was dead set against getting an epidural.
HIM: Why don't you want an epidural? It's gonna hurt, Kel."
ME: I'm not gettin' one. I don't want my legs all numb.
HIM: What? Why not?
Me: Because! What if I need my legs?
HIM: For what?
ME: I don't know!! What if I something happens and I need to run out of there or something??
HIM: (sighs and shakes his head, again.) Kel, where do you think you are going to need to go so badly when there is a baby hanging out of you?
ME: I don't know... but I sure won't be able to get there with jelly legs, will I?
HIM: Point taken.
So, there you have it. Just a few reasons that my husband should be appointed to sainthood. The fact that he hasn't killed me yet is unbelievable.
Previously posted on April 12, 2009
The Patron Saint of Irritated Husbands
My husband and I will be celebrating our ten year wedding anniversary next month. I am the first to admit that I am difficult to live with. I am shocked that he has put up with me for that long. The following are just a few examples of his miraculous patience.
** We had not been dating too long when my parents invited him over for dinner. My brother and I decided to class up the dinner with a fart machine under my chair. We waited until a silent moment and then... rip. My brother and I were laughing so hard he choked on his chicken parm and had to leave the table to puke in the bathroom. Of course, he continued to hit the fart remote while I sat and snorted like an idiot. Hubby just kind of giggled a little and turned beet red.
** The other week we were sitting in a parking lot trying to find directions to a new restaurant. I spot two birds out my window.
ME: Do birds have sex?
HIM: Yes (still typing on the GPS)
ME: I've never seen them do it.
HIM: (he sighs..) Well, the do. Maybe they're just private about it.
ME: Well, then where are their little wieners?
HIM: (slamming shut the GPS) Kel, they have wieners and they have sex... OK??
ME: Geez... well, excuse me, Mr. Know-it-all.
** We were feeding the geese at the park with our daughter. One goose dips her neck in the green water and guzzles some down.
ME: ewww! They actually drink that water?
HIM: (rolls his eyes.) No, they don't. They have bottled water shipped in (walks away, shaking his head.)
** I have this thing where if someone tells me NOT to do something, I have to do it. I don't know why. I've always been that way. One winter morning,when we were living in our first apartment, Craig went out to warm up his car. We had had an ice storm the night before. He came back in to get something to scrape the ice off his car. I offered to help. He told me not to go out there. The parking lot was covered in ice. That's where he made his mistake. A few minutes later he goes back out. I follow him, with my trusty spatula, ready to show him how it's done. I get to the front step and he says. "Kel! I said don't come out here! It's too dangerous!"
I get very snotty with him. "Don't you tell me what to do!" , and I step off the bottom step. "I wanna heeeeeeeellllllpp". And then I fall. I slide across the entire parking lot, on my ass. I make eye contact with him as I glide past. He just sighs. I finally come to a rest at the other end of the lot. I try to get up. Because I was stupid enough to put on slippers before I went out, I now find it impossible to stand up. And I have to wait there, in my nightgown, halfway across the apartment complex, for him to come help me get up. After five minutes of my whining, he comes over. He doesn't say a word, just shakes his head.
** A few years ago we were watching the Olympics on TV. I say to him. "I bet I can still do a handstand."
He looks over at me. "No. Please, don't."
Now he did it.
"Don't tell me what to do." I go to the middle of the room and do the coolest and most awesome handstand that has ever been done in the history of handstands. He doesn't say anything. "You didn't even look!" I yell at him.
"Yes, I did. It was cool. You're lucky you didn't hurt yourself. Now, could you move?" He looks past me to the TV.
Oh, no he didn't. I put my hands on my hips. "No! You didn't look! Watch!!" And this time I do another super-cool, spectacular handstand.. except this time, I fall over backwards and break my toe. To this day, I look at my crooked second toe and blame him.
** When I was pregnant I told him I was dead set against getting an epidural.
HIM: Why don't you want an epidural? It's gonna hurt, Kel."
ME: I'm not gettin' one. I don't want my legs all numb.
HIM: What? Why not?
Me: Because! What if I need my legs?
HIM: For what?
ME: I don't know!! What if I something happens and I need to run out of there or something??
HIM: (sighs and shakes his head, again.) Kel, where do you think you are going to need to go so badly when there is a baby hanging out of you?
ME: I don't know... but I sure won't be able to get there with jelly legs, will I?
HIM: Point taken.
So, there you have it. Just a few reasons that my husband should be appointed to sainthood. The fact that he hasn't killed me yet is unbelievable.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
The Patron Saint of Irritated Husbands...
My husband and I will be celebrating our ten year wedding anniversary next month. I am the first to admit that I am difficult to live with. I am shocked that he has put up with me for that long. The following are just a few examples of his miraculous patience.
** We had not been dating too long when my parents invited him over for dinner. My brother and I decided to class up the dinner with a fart machine under my chair. We waited until a silent moment and then... rip. My brother and I were laughing so hard he choked on his chicken parm and had to leave the table to puke in the bathroom. Of course, he continued to hit the fart remote while I sat and snorted like an idiot. Hubby just kind of giggled a little and turned beet red.
** The other week we were sitting in a parking lot trying to find directions to a new restaurant. I spot two birds out my window.
ME: Do birds have sex?
HIM: Yes (still typing on the GPS)
ME: I've never seen them do it.
HIM: (he sighs..) Well, the do. Maybe they're just private about it.
ME: Well, then where are their little wieners?
HIM: (slamming shut the GPS) Kel, they have wieners and they have sex... OK??
ME: Geez... well, excuse me, Mr. Know-it-all.
** We were feeding the geese at the park with our daughter. One goose dips her neck in the green water and guzzles some down.
ME: ewww! They actually drink that water?
HIM: (rolls his eyes.) No, they don't. They have bottled water shipped in (walks away, shaking his head.)
** I have this thing where if someone tells me NOT to do something, I have to do it. I don't know why. I've always been that way. One winter morning,when we were living in our first apartment, Craig went out to warm up his car. We had had an ice storm the night before. He came back in to get something to scrape the ice off his car. I offered to help. He told me not to go out there. The parking lot was covered in ice. That's where he made his mistake. A few minutes later he goes back out. I follow him, with my trusty spatula, ready to show him how it's done. I get to the front step and he says. "Kel! I said don't come out here! It's too dangerous!"
I get very snotty with him. "Don't you tell me what to do!" , and I step off the bottom step. "I wanna heeeeeeeellllllpp". And then I fall. I slide across the entire parking lot, on my ass. I make eye contact with him as I glide past. He just sighs. I finally come to a rest at the other end of the lot. I try to get up. Because I was stupid enough to put on slippers before I went out, I now find it impossible to stand up. And I have to wait there, in my nightgown, halfway across the apartment complex, for him to come help me get up. After five minutes of my whining, he comes over. He doesn't say a word, just shakes his head.
** A few years ago we were watching the Olympics on TV. I say to him. "I bet I can still do a handstand."
He looks over at me. "No. Please, don't."
Now he did it.
"Don't tell me what to do." I go to the middle of the room and do the coolest and most awesome handstand that has ever been done in the history of handstands. He doesn't say anything. "You didn't even look!" I yell at him.
"Yes, I did. It was cool. You're lucky you didn't hurt yourself. Now, could you move?" He looks past me to the TV.
Oh, no he didn't. I put my hands on my hips. "No! You didn't look! Watch!!" And this time I do another super-cool, spectacular handstand.. except this time, I fall over backwards and break my toe. To this day, I look at my crooked second toe and blame him.
** When I was pregnant I told him I was dead set against getting an epidural.
HIM: Why don't you want an epidural? It's gonna hurt, Kel."
ME: I'm not gettin' one. I don't want my legs all numb.
HIM: What? Why not?
Me: Because! What if I need my legs?
HIM: For what?
ME: I don't know!! What if I something happens and I need to run out of there or something??
HIM: (sighs and shakes his head, again.) Kel, where do you think you are going to need to go so badly when there is a baby hanging out of you?
ME: I don't know... but I sure won't be able to get there with jelly legs, will I?
HIM: Point taken.
So, there you have it. Just a few reasons that my husband should be appointed to sainthood. The fact that he hasn't killed me yet is unbelievable.
**I swear, I am not stupid, I just have no filter. I say what I am thinking, and usually it makes no sense.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Seduction By.....Tic Tacs?
The following is a conversation that I had with hubby last night. We were leaving Red Robin after I had bought us dinner out of my paycheck. We were walking over to Target when...
ME: ooohhh.. I'm gonna get a Frappucino at Target... want one? My treat?
HUBBY: Nah, I can't. I won't be able to sleep. That thing will keep me up all night
Me: Maybe that's all part of my evil plan .... maybe I want you to be "UP" all night..(nudge, nudge, wink, wink)
HUBBY: (laughs and shakes his head.. think he blushes a little)
ME: Hey, I just bought you dinner mister, you're putting out tonight. That stuff don't come free.
HUBBY: (cluthches his chest in shock.) Ma'am.. I am not that kind of girl, I'm not gonnna give it up simply because you bought me a meal. I have standards, you know.
ME: (reaching into purse and pull out a half eaten pack of orange tic tacs and hand them to him.) Here.will that do it?
HUBBY (grabbing tic tacs, shrugs his shoulders..) yeah,that should work.. Go ahead, Do with me what you will.
ME: ooohhh.. I'm gonna get a Frappucino at Target... want one? My treat?
HUBBY: Nah, I can't. I won't be able to sleep. That thing will keep me up all night
Me: Maybe that's all part of my evil plan .... maybe I want you to be "UP" all night..(nudge, nudge, wink, wink)
HUBBY: (laughs and shakes his head.. think he blushes a little)
ME: Hey, I just bought you dinner mister, you're putting out tonight. That stuff don't come free.
HUBBY: (cluthches his chest in shock.) Ma'am.. I am not that kind of girl, I'm not gonnna give it up simply because you bought me a meal. I have standards, you know.
ME: (reaching into purse and pull out a half eaten pack of orange tic tacs and hand them to him.) Here.will that do it?
HUBBY (grabbing tic tacs, shrugs his shoulders..) yeah,that should work.. Go ahead, Do with me what you will.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
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