Shopping.. girls are suppossed to like that right??

Grrr... this is gonna be a grumbly post. I am so aggravated. Just went shopping with my girlfriend and everything I put on looks like crap!! Why is it that I can put a rockin' outfit together on a hanger..(pants, top, jewlery, shoes) perfectly cute and then I put it on my pathetic waste of a body and it looks like hell?? why? I'll tell ya why.. cause I'm a heffer.. that's why. mooo mooo...


Dammit.. I used to dress so cute. Girls would stop me in the store and ask me where I got my stuff. I used to shop clearance all the time.. I could get a totally kick-ass outfit for 20 bucks.. accessories included. What the frig? Now I have more money to spend and I can't find a thing. Seriously, I think its time to just start wearing elastic waist jeans and and sparkly kitty cat sweatshirts. Not to mention orthopedic shoes. And those elastic rain hat things.
IS THIS WHAT I HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TOO?




Seriously, I give up. Pass the donuts.

Thousand Words Thursday x 2

BEFORE: ferocious tiger


AFTER: sleepy kitty

The Ballad of Teddy Rippedskin

THIS IS DEXTER(AKA LITTLE MAN)


THIS IS DEXTER AND HIS VERY LOVED AND VERY TATTERED TEDDY BEAR.

For some reason, my daughter and I find it hilarious to make up song's about Dexter's teddy. After long deliberations, we have decided that he is young boy recently moved here from England. His name is Teddy Rippedskin (distant cousin to TeddY Ruxpin) He speaks in a very high pitched voice and has a fierce Cockney accent. He's a happy little guy, but is tormented and tortured every day by Dexter. Ros and I hold him and sing his songs while Dexter jumps and barks and trys to rip him to shreds. Here are just a few of the very silly, but very dark songs we sing... all must be sung in high pitched voice, in a london accent, to the tune of "hello, my name is Simon and I like to do drawings..(saturday night live..)"

HELLO, I'M TEDDY RIPPEDSKIN
AND BOY! ME BOOTS ARE SHINY..
WHEN DEXTER CHEWS ME LEG,
I ALWAYS SCREAM "OH, BLIMEY!"

HELLO, I'M TEDDY RIPPEDSKIN
I'M JUST A WEE YOUNG CHAP
BUT WHEN DEXTER COMES FOR ME,
I RUN AND CRY "OH CRAP!"

HELLO, I'M TEDDY RIPPEDSKIN
I LOVE TO WATCH THE TELLY
BUT I CAN'T WATCH IT ANYMORE
CAUSE I'M STUCK HERE IN YOUR BELLY.

HELLO, I'M TEDDY RIPPEDSKIN
AND I SING "LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!"
BUT I WONT LIVE TOO LONG,
BECAUSE YOUR DOG JUST ATE ME SPLEEN.

For some reason, Roslyn and I find these songs hilarious and laugh until our sides hurt. They just go on and on and get sillier and sillier. There is also lots of "oh no, not me eye.." and such. I love that she inherited our goofy sense of humor, even though not everyone gets it. She got a gift for rhyming and she does an awesome english accent. I'm so proud.

AND NOW, HERE IS A PICTURE OF JUST HOW IMPRESSED DEXTER IS WITH OUR LYRICAL STYLINGS.

First Of All I Would Like to Thank....

I got my first blog award! Yay!
Thank you Evolving Mommy for nominating me!!
The provisions of the award state that I now have to list 6 things that I love and pass the award onto 6 other blogs that I enjoy. So here goes:
1. I love to laugh, especially at things other people just don't get.
2. I love coffee and lots of it.
3. I love bookstores. I could spend all day in there and never get bored.
4. I love reading with my daughter. She is into chapter books now and its fun to have something to share.
5. I love dogs. We have two and they are spoiled rotten. It is physically impossible for me to pass a dog at the park and not stop to say hi.
6. I love secret confession sites. I don't know why. I just find them really interesting.

And now I pass on my award!

Please go see these blogs. Why, you ask? Cause they're awesome, that's why!

Jam's Own Reality


Forever Fat Girl On The Inside


Random Thoughts

Cheaper Than Therapy

Mom Spark

Happy Meals and Happy Hour

#2 Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrel

Ugh... I had such high hopes. It took me forever to read this thing and I struggled the whole way. I wanted to love it. I did love it, for the first 5 or so chapters and then it just drags and drags and drags. I love Victorian settings and this one had the magical aspect as well. It had been touted as the "Harry Potter for grownups". It is not. Maybe I just wasn't it the mood for it... either that or it just sucked.

Seduction By.....Tic Tacs?

The following is a conversation that I had with hubby last night. We were leaving Red Robin after I had bought us dinner out of my paycheck. We were walking over to Target when...

ME: ooohhh.. I'm gonna get a Frappucino at Target... want one? My treat?

HUBBY: Nah, I can't. I won't be able to sleep. That thing will keep me up all night

Me: Maybe that's all part of my evil plan .... maybe I want you to be "UP" all night..(nudge, nudge, wink, wink)

HUBBY: (laughs and shakes his head.. think he blushes a little)

ME: Hey, I just bought you dinner mister, you're putting out tonight. That stuff don't come free.

HUBBY: (cluthches his chest in shock.) Ma'am.. I am not that kind of girl, I'm not gonnna give it up simply because you bought me a meal. I have standards, you know.

ME: (reaching into purse and pull out a half eaten pack of orange tic tacs and hand them to him.) Here.will that do it?

HUBBY (grabbing tic tacs, shrugs his shoulders..) yeah,that should work.. Go ahead, Do with me what you will.

Thousand Words Thursday

Mid Hissy-fit. If I were to write a thousand words on this experience, it would mostly be curse words. NOT A GOOD DAY. (for either of us)

I used to listen to punk.........

This is the most recent musical hit in our house.


Second only to this little ditty:

#1 The Spiritualist by Megan Chance

What's it about??

The year is 1857. Evelyn Atherton is a fish out of water in the upper crust society of New York City. After being plucked from obscurity by the handsome Peter Atherton and whisked off to be married, she soon finds herself a neglected housewife. Her lawyer husband has become obsessed with attending secretive spirit circles. He claims the spirit of his deceased mother is contacted as well as other's loved ones. Evelyn is skeptical of the "spirit rappers" but finally succeeds in persuading Peter to let her tag along to one meeting. Immediately, she is suspicious of the mystical medium, Michel. His seductive glances and overall aggressive nature make her wonder what is really going on when the lights are dimmed.

And rightly so. The same night she attends the circle for the first time, her husband goes missing. Weeks later he is found murdered, his body discarded in the river. The Altherton family quickly turns on her, accusing Evelyn of having her husband murdered for his money.She finds herself penniless and alone and unsure of who she can trust. Her husband's law partner offers to take her case but needs her help in finding the killer. A member of the spirit circle decides to take her in, but the mysterious Michel resides there as well. Evelyn is convinced he has something to do with Peter's death, but things are not always as they seem. Can she find evidence of her husband's murderer and avoid the gallows?

What did I think??
I loved this book. Megan Chance is a fantastic storyteller. She did a great job of juggling the romantic aspects of the story and still keeping the reader in suspense. I was actually very surprised by the ending and that's always a plus. I love to read a book and actually have that "aha!" moment when all the pieces fall into place. I would recommend this novel to anyone really, but especially historical fiction and mystery fans. Also, check out Susannah Morrow by the same author. A story of the Salem Witch trials, Susannah Morrow takes you inside the heart and mind of a woman accused of witchcraft with amazing clarity. I have yet to read her other book, An Inconvenient Wife, but its's on my bookshelf!

Sick Again..

I just spent 29 bucks on vitamins to try and boost my immunity. These little f*ckers better work or somebody at GNC is gettin' punched.

Hey! It's Friday! Let's Go Blow Your Paycheck!

Friday means payday for most of us, so lets go shopping. Christmas is coming and I've got a little list of items that you must buy, because I'm broke and we need to stimulate the economy.


First of all ,for you ladies...
http://www.ohmibod.com/


I saw this in Geek Magazine and I was laughing my ass off.I don't even own an ipod... .but I can't help but wonder what songs you would put on your playlist? Techno? or some Barry White??


Guys, I didn't forget you!!
http://www.baronbob.com/weenercleaner.htm


The Caution is hilarious.. I wonder what scent it is?? ewww...

How about a gift for the bear collecter in your life??
http://www.toxicteddies.com/


I'm partial to "smackie" ... I may just order a whole set.


I'm getting these for my hubby!Thank you, Mr. Inventor.
http://www.subtlebutt.com/


Need a little something to snack on while shopping? how about.......


The description says "Chew this gum and you'll totally poop sunshine just like those freakin' magical unicorns!" Sounds like a home run to me.

And lastly.. need to take a potty break before we leave the mall... don't forget one of these!
http://www.p-mate.com/eng/product.html

Because we women have always been jealous.
My favorite part of the description is this "Shaped to female body forms: It closes properly around your pee-opening " Very scientific.

Movie Scenes.. Best Kisses

We were talking about crappy movie scenes at lunch today and it made me want to make a list of my favorite movie scenes. I think its gonna be too hard to list them all.. so I thought I would catagorize them. My first category will be "best kisses".

My first nomination would be Catch and Release: a seriously corny movie, but this scene is very nice. I also like when she sneaks into his bed later in the movie.. very sweet.




My second nomination is, well, more than a kiss.. but it starts with a kiss.. so that counts. Its Atonement and it's scrump-diddly-umptious. I HAD THE WHOLE SCENE ON HERE, BUT I THINK IT WAS REMOVED BECAUSE OF THE RACY CONTENT.. SO YOU WILL HAVE TO BE SATISFIED WITH JUST A LITTLE CLIP... OR YOU COULD GO SEARCH FOR THE WHOLE SCENE.. WHICH I HIGHLY RECOMMEND.



AND NOW, MY ALL TIME FAVORITE MOVIE KISS IS..... COLD MOUNTAIN. THE DELICIOUSNESS BEGINS AT 1:47 OR SO.. THIS VIDEO TAKES A MINUTE TO LOAD.. BUT ITS WORTH IT.. I PROMISE. THE BEST THING ABOUT THIS KISS IS THAT FACT THAT THESE TWO CHARACTER HAD BARELY SAID TEN WORDS TO EACH OTHER AND THEY WERE SO SHY..BUT THEN... FIREWORKS!!

I am sure I am going to come up with more... but those are my faves.

Confession Sites..

Why am I so addicted to these? I used to read postsecret all the time, but now I am hooked on
www.truemomconfessions.com
You can then link to truedadconfessions and other confessions.

I read them everyday, and I post too!! (you'll never guess so don't even try it!)

Yay! It's the 15th!!!

And you know what that means.. Craig and I have money again!! woo hoo, baby.. lets go shopping, 'cause it ain't gonna last long!

Craig actually makes great money. He's got a wonderful job now as a draftsman/cadd designer and he is finally doing what he really enjoys. Our problem is the fact that for years he had a dead end job that paid nothing and went nowhere. When he quit, we lost the house we were renting. (not due to non-payment, thank you very much. We were renting a house from his boss and he got pissed when Craig left(with advanced notice) and kicked us out.) We had a two year old baby at the time. So, we were broke from years of being underpaid, and could not afford to mortgage a home. We had to have a roof over our heads, so we..(gulp)... moved in with my parents. Lets just say that if we are ever in a situation like that again, I will chose a box on the street. I love my parents. I do. And they opened their home to us and I know it wasn't easy for them. But it was not a good move for any of us. We fought. We were crowded and cranky and just plain uncomfortable. I will always be grateful to them for taking us in, but I think all of us now realize that is the last option!

So, we lived with them for about 4 months and then bought the house we are living in now. Its not our dream home, but its a roof and we are back in the town we love. It's great to be surrounded by friends and family. Unfortunately we were not quite ready to buy, but we did anyway. We are now paying for it. You know that whole credit crisis the country is going through?? yeah, its out fault. We were approved for one of those shady loans and are now paying the price. We make our payments though!! We are almost ready to refinance and get a better rate... until then, we're scraping buy.

That said, Craig is going out to buy another bike today!! Actually he is going to Dansizan and Quigley to put a payment on a new road bike, he's not bringing it home today. He is an avid biker (pedal variety) and he really needs a road bike. His mountain bike is fine for now, but I have a feeling he'll be hitting up for a new one of those soon.

So, because I am spiteful by nature, I am tempted to go shopping today. I need clothes. I know, women say that all the time, but I really NEED them. I have literally two long sleeve tops and about 2 pairs of jeans and some cargos. I need some winter clothes or I'm gonna be in tanks and shorts all winter. I am also eyeing some new scrapbook supplies.

But, I am gonna be a good girl for once. I'm gonna go grocery shopping and pay the electric bill and go to lunch with friends. (mcdonalds.. nothing fancy.) Roslyn has dance class tonight,and there is a yummy coffee shop nearby, so I will treat myself to a yummy coconut latte. That should satisfy my urge to splurge.

But if that man comes home with a bike, a new helmet, shoes and other crap, I'm hittin' the mall, baby.

This is so close to home, it stings a little...

see more pwn and owned pictures

It's Pretty, No?

Got me a new template here.. working on the kinks right now... I likey.

kaboodle.

I am in love with this site... I just discovered it, I'm sure its old news. I am very guilty of having wishlists and full shopping carts and 15 different sites at a time.. and this site just combines everything. I am having so much fun, "virtually shopping" and adding things to my lists! Hmm.. I am thinking this might be good to forward to hubby for christmas ideas....

here is mine!https://www.kaboodle.com/bookwormkel

New blog or New Project I Will Never Keep Up With?

Not quite sure why I think anyone would be interested in reading what I have to say but here goes. A few years ago, (pre-motherhood) I had a very active blog on livejournal and actually made some money at it, so here we go again. I am not looking for income, just an outlet. I tried to jump back on at livejournal but it just didn't feel the same, so I thought I could go for a fresh start. I have discovered that I really need the outlet of writing, even if its just a bunch of verbal diarrhea...

Being a stay at home mom is kinda lonely. Don't get me wrong, I've got plenty of friends and we talk on the phone everyday (several times) and meet up for lunch sometimes and weekends are busy. But with Roslyn (my six year old) in school all day now, I find myself having conversations with the dogs way too much. Hmm.. now that I think about it, maybe it's not so much loneliness as much as it boredom. I feel kinda wasted at home (and not in the good way.) I want a job where I can dress up and go to work and have a separate life than home. I miss the work atmosphere. A housewife, I am not. I hate to clean. I enjoy cooking, but its not enough to keep me entertained. (besides, my waistline can't take the stress.) I am not a decorator. I can appreciate a well decorated home, but when it comes time to do the painting and sanding, count me out. Don't they have professionals for that? And I am just way to indecisive to chose a paint color and stick to it.
So basically, I sit at home from 8:30 to 3 everyday, sitting here doing data entry for work (for those of you who don't know me, I work at home currently at a job that is literally going nowhere fast). I watch movies, listen to music and talk to the dogs while I work. I give up around noon and try to do some housework. When the house is clean , at least to my and my hubby's standards, and the laundry is done, I indulge my main passion... reading. Time to pick the kid up, cook dinner, do homework, bathe and time for bed. And the cycle starts again. God, it sounds damn boring, even to me. I gotta get myself another project, something just for me... arc welding maybe?? scuba diving? sharpshooter school?? ...

I may pick up book reviews like I used to do on my old blog. I made some money (and lots of free books) doing that. I really loved it. I am considering joining a gym too, but I am always so self conscious in those places, I may just use the treadmill at home. I would love to take up running again, but lord knows, its gonna take awhile before I get back to that!

So, looking back on this post, I notice I did nothing but bitch. I'm tempting to highlight the thing and hit delete, but I'm not going to. I've got to start somewhere.