For The Love of Chickens..

My daughter Roslyn has always loved animals. She also has a flair for the dramatic. One day when she was four and half years old we saw what happens when these two traits collide.

It was a rainy November afternoon. Ros was watching tv and enjoying some lunch, when a commercial about "cooking your Thanksgiving turkey" came on the screen. She giggled a little and said, "That's so funny that they call it turkey. People don't eat real turkeys."

I laughed too. "Of course they do! People eat animals all the time."

She shrugged a little. "Well, I'm glad we don't, mommy. We would never eat an animal."

I watch as she dips her CHICKEN nugget into some sauce and gobbles away. Crap. Do I tell her? I mean she's almost 5. It's time she knew the truth. I take a deep breath and say, "Um, honey. We do eat animals. You're eating chicken nuggets. They are made out of chickens."

She drops the nugget. Clunk. "What?" She stares at her plate. Her mouth is hanging open. Big tears are starting to form and I think, "Shit.. here we go." She jumps up and does the drama queen run to her bedroom. (you know the one.. arms flailing, legs stomping, but the nose is still way up in the air.) "How could you make me eat poor little chickens?!". She slams her door.

I consider for a moment going in there. But decide to let her have some time. Good thing, because a second later she opens the door. She gives me the death stare to end all death stares and marches past me to her toy boxes in the front room. She digs around like crazy, finds what she is looking for and marches back to her room, wailing in agony the whole time. This time she forgets to dramatically slam the door and leaves it open a little. I can see that the thing she had been searching for was her stuffed turkey. (I am seriously trying not laugh at this point. I mean, come on...) She then dives under her blankets with her stuffed turkey. I can hear her mumbling something in between sobs. I sneak a little closer.

"I'm so sorry that I have been eating you guys. I didn't know. She didn't tell me." Again, more wailing and then, " I know.. I think she's a mean lady, too."

Oh for the love of God. Again, I decide to let her ride it out a little. About ten minutes later she comes out of the bedroom. I am thinking it's over. She drops to the ground in front of our dogs. "I am sorry. I didn't want to eat your friends!" The dogs are wide eyed in terror. What's with this kid?

I laugh a little. "Honey, we don't eat dogs."

She buries her face in the dog's side. "Well, what do you think Hot Dogs are then, huh??" The wailing continues.

Finally I get her calmed down. I explain to her how some animals eat other animals. I tell her that if she doesn't want to, she doesn't have to. Some people are vegetarians. And at this point I am thinking she definitly will become one. I would be more than happy to support that.

"What do they eat?" she asked, her face so filled with hope.

"Well, they eat vegtables." I tell her.

Her face falls and her nose immediatly wrinkles up."But I don't like vegtables." she says.

She looks at me for a few seconds and then glances at the nuggets still sitting on her plate. I can almost hear the wheels in her little head spinning. Suddenly, as if someone has flicked a switch, she says. "Nah. I'm just gonna eat the chickens."
It's over.

And..... end scene.