Welcome to the Hot Seat! Each week, I give you a situation to ponder. Some will be silly (this is me, afterall). Some will be serious. Some will be though-provoking (but not many... I mean come on. You know I can only go so deep). I am going to give you several possible responses and you can choose one, or of course, leave your own. It's just a fun little social experiment and a way for us all to get to know each other.
Here is your second scenario:
You are in the parking lot of Toys-r-us. You see (and hear) a woman leaving the store. She has a child, around three years old, with her. The child is screaming bloody murder, dragging her feet and yelling "NO! NO!" The woman looks stressed. You assume the child is just having a temper tantrum. But then, a thought crosses your mind. What if you are witnessing an abduction? Do you risk possible embarrasment and anger and approach the woman? Or is it just another spoiled kid showing his temper?
What do you do?
a. Nothing. It's a Toys-r-us for God's sake. Every child comes out of there kicking and screaming.
b. Approach the woman and ask her if she needs help... and face a possible angry mother.
c. Ask the child, "Is this your momma? are you giving her a hard time?"
d. Call the police and give them the license plate number... better safe than sorry.
Leave your answer in the comments section and feel free to elaborate.
If you want to answer the first hot seat question also, go here:
Hot Seat Episode #1
I would probably go with B. I would ask if she needed help and then maybe go with C, if the situation didn't feel right.
ReplyDeleteI have seen this many times, and the thought always occurs to me. I am ashamed to say that I don't act on it. I feel like I should. I just feel for those moms who are dealing with a screaming kid and don't want to add to their embarrasment. But, maybe I should.
ReplyDeleteDid you see me coming out of Toys R' Us??? Oh wonderful! Now I am going to worry that someone is going to think I'm kidnapping my kids whenever we leave a store!
ReplyDeleteNow that you have provoked this thought...if I see this happen, I will whip out my trusty camera and snap a pic of the woman in question, the screaming child, and the get-a-way car. Then, if I see an Amber Alert, I will take my evidence to the Po-Po!
I'm so ashamed. But I'd probably do nothing. I was in a grocery store once, and this kid was with his parents. (I assume).
ReplyDeleteThey were having a jolly ol' time shopping, and then they got to the checkout and the kid wanted candy. The parents told him no, and he threw a royal tantrum.
His dad decided to take him out to the car while the mom paid. While dad was taking him outside, the kid started screaming, "You're not my daddy."
I stared at them, the checkout girl stared at them, and then we both turned and stared at the mom.
She was red in the face, but calmly looked at us and said, "He ain't lyin. That ain't his daddy. His daddy's in jail."
I sh*t you not. Weirdest thing...ever.
And I'll now end my verbal diarrhea. Thank you. ;)
ha....been there, done that with my own when he was a toddler.
ReplyDeletethat said...I WOULD RUN AND RUN FAST!!! Pretend I didn't see it, rush to my car and leaaaaave.
okay....I hate to admit it but the thought would and has definately crossed my mind..but I don't think I would ever act on it...ahhh that is awful....
ReplyDeletem:)
Ummm,I would and have do B. That way, if I was wrong, I'd still come across as being a really nice person... :o)
ReplyDeleteThere's that sad kitty again. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteI'm sad to say that before I read this, I wouldn't do anything. But now, I think I would try to perhaps talk to talk to them and offer help in some way. Or, maybe I would just pay close attention, take the license number just to see. Yikes. I don't know now!
Hmmmmmm...INTERESTING! Most likely I would do "A". BUT if my gut was telling me something else I would do "D"
ReplyDeleteHmmm...interesting. i guess my instinct would be ignore it, temper tantrums happen. But then you bring abduction into the scenario and it opens my eyes. I guess I'll choose B.
ReplyDeleteI hate to say this, but I would probably do A. I have been where those moms are. Kicking, screaming child because they did not get what they want. I guess you just have to go with your instincts. If it doesn't feel right, then B. :)
ReplyDeleteAs much as most of us would love to say that we would do the noble, smart, safe thing and speak up, just to be sure... I have watched that show What Would You Do? too many times and know that we, in MOST cases, would do absolutely nothing. Me included for sure. And even sometimes when our guts tell us that somethin aint right... we still do nothing out of fear of being wrong and ourselves being humiliated.
ReplyDeleteI would love to say that I would rather be safe than sorry, and say that making a fool of myself is a small price to pay...but.....
I would also love to know that if any of my kids were taken and someone saw it, that they would speak up and do something... but....
thanks for the thought provoking question!!!
Like Sass's story: I had a friend who prided herself on safely warning her kids that if anyone was to try to take them, they were to scream loudly HES NOT MY DADDY! The kids listened and promised to do just that if the situation came. One day the kid was acting up in the store. She was about 5 years old and when mom forced the girl to leave the store, she immediately was screaming at the top of her lungs exactly what she was taught. My friend was dragging her daughter out of the store, absolutley mortified that she was screaming SHES NOT MY MOMMY! the whole time. No one did anything. (of course she said THANK GOD that dhs wasnt involved!;)
For sure went down as lifes most embarassing moments!!
I think I would observe for a while and then if it really got heated I would ask if she needed help...I'm nosy that way!
ReplyDeletegiveaway is go for launch!
Hm... this IS provoking. I have found myself wondering if the said adult was really the parent when I've seen screaming children...but usually I think to myself that it's the parent...especially by the way the adult acts. Usually I look for other clues as to the parenthood....just by how suspicious the person seems to be. I would usually do nothing, but if I was suspicious, I would offer help and see how they react. I'd think if they were the true parent, they would smile or look embarrassed, or roll their eyes at me or some other expected response- if it was something else I would get more involved.
ReplyDeleteHaha, cute one!! ok, i shall go with 'A' coz dont think its an abduction in the first place. why would a child drag the woman's feet when he is being abducted by someone? maybe ive watched too many hollywood shows. im exepcting more like being grabbed by the waist and hanging down like a dead puppet kind of thing. anyway, leave the child and the parent be. mommy should learn to discipline her child in the first place. :)
ReplyDeleteOOOHHH good one. My kids have been known to throw a tantrum or two, but I've also been known to walk up close to someone whose kid is acting up and say loudly to my daughter "you used to do that too" and that usually gets the kid to stop and look at my daughter. I guess the rest would depend on the reaction from the parent.
ReplyDeleteI would probably watch and if it didn't seem more than a tantrum do A.
ReplyDeleteEGADS. i sure hope this never happens. i have a big mouth when needed, but then again i hate to get involved. humph. i would most likely assume it was her kid having a tantrum, and then i would go home and worry about it all night and check the news to see if a kidnapping had been reported. then i would bang my head against the wall for blowing it.
ReplyDeletegenerally would go with 'b' but if the child and mother looked totally different and the mother didn't have that 'i'm tired of my child look' if that makes sense I'd probably go into the store and ask around.
ReplyDeleteI put up a blog award for you. It's on my blog
I would totally thank my lucky stars that I didn't have my kids with me and swear to NEVER take them to Toys-R-Us again!
ReplyDeleteThen I would go home and drink a glass of wine. But..I'd do that no matter what action I took! hehehehe
I just say loudly for several people to hear that the particular situation is exactly why I don't have kids, and then glare at the 'mother'. If said mama blushes and loosens her grip on said kid, I smile mean girl style, if she glares and grasps the child tighter, I make a mental description of the clothes and call in the info to the GUARDS!!!
ReplyDeleteUm, you saw me at Toys R Us last week, didn't you???
ReplyDeleteOkay, seriously, though....I think if the situation just didn't sit right with me, I might ask the mother if everything is okay. Putting myself in that situation, I wouldn't be upset if someone came up to me and asked me that. I might be extremely embarrassed and read my kid the riot act once we get in the car but I think I would appreciate someone stepping in to make sure everything is okay.
Mmmmmm.....gosh.
ReplyDeletehow about I stare at the mother with the
"It's OK...been there, hang in there" look.
If I don't feel right about it, I'll kick into C and then D.
I wish I knew the answer to this. I don't like to get involved but I am not afraid to let anyone people know I am watching them and taking notes. So I guess I would probably have to see what my instincts are telling em and go from there.
ReplyDeleteProbably C if I felt a strong feeling, but D if I was really scared and knew something was wrong!
ReplyDeleteDefinitely thought provoking. I would do C.
ReplyDeleteHhhmmm, if I were close enough to them then I would probably say to the kid, "Are you giving your mama a hard time?" I am used to talking to strangers so it would not bother me to do that just to make sure.
ReplyDeleteThanks, yesterday did get brighter for me:)
As a momma who has twins (that would probably be with me at the store) I would risk an angry mom & go up to her (B).
ReplyDeleteGood scenario! I wonder if anyone has seen us come out of a store and ever wondered the same thing?!?!!?
It's terrible but I would probably go with A. I mean it's hard to tell unless i am actually there....but i'd just assume it's a child having a fit..since I deal with it so often
ReplyDeleteman this is hard! i think maybe b... and then if i think that something is still wrong i would do c and see how the kid acted.
ReplyDeleteHeck yeah, I would ask if she needed help and then speak to the child!!
ReplyDeleteDepends on the woman and the child and the gut feeling. Possibly nothing, but if I really thought something was wrong, I'd ask the child and see if that changes my feelings. If there was something wrong, that would possibly make the woman react. Then call the cops.
ReplyDeleteI think 90% of the kids coming out of Toys R Us are having tantrums so I don't think I would think anything of it. I'm usually too busy trying to deal with my own toddlers tantrum to notice any other kids having one.
ReplyDeleteI would do A. I have seen that happen so many times in Wal-Mart and I just don't know what to do. I do agree with the gut feeling...if something feels fishy then I would ask if they needed any help.
ReplyDeleteI have seen this happen and I just paid attention and walked closer to them and watched how things went at the car. The mom put the child in a car seat and some of the things I overheard sounded normal BUT I did go back to my car and write down the plate number and make of car and ladies description.
ReplyDeleteA few months ago I probably would have done nothin', just assumed the child was havin' a temper tantrum but I saw a show on tv that gave me second pause here.
Why does it have to be such an ugly world? I grew up in a time when it was safe for a kid to run all over the place. Not any more! I didn't let my kids walk next door without me standin' where I could watch them the whole time. If they were children today, I would have to walk them next door!
Good post!
so i've been in the opposite situation where i had a screaming/crying kid and thought "geez i hope no one thinks i'm stealing my kid."
ReplyDeletehowever, i usually try to make eye contact with the child in these situations and something about that makes me believe the kid is with his/her parents. So i will go with "c".
I would chose option B. You never know these days. A few months ago Matthew was screaming at me outside the convenience store that he was going no where with me. (because he didn't get a treat) People looked, but no one stopped to ask if he was okay.
ReplyDeleteshoot... i dunno. hmmmm.... i never approach people bc they could do some nasty shit to you like pull out a gun. i would ask the kid if thats his mom if the kid is a retard and doesnt answer then i take the license plate # and po-po her ass!!!
ReplyDeleteI might do B ... maybe. But it is very possible that I might just do A. It really depended on how it looked to me at the time. Are you going to post the results to these questions? I'd be curious how it all comes out in the end.
ReplyDeleteA all the way but if something felt off I would do B.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by my blog.
I'm gonna go with A unless the child says something like "you're not my mommy" then I would call the police.
ReplyDeleteI'm so used to stuff like that that potential abduction would not occur to me. If it did, though, I would offer to help and see how the child reacted. Or maybe I would say, "Hey, are you stealing that kid? If so, are you sure he's worth it? He seems pretty obnoxious."
ReplyDeleteBeing it is at Toys R Us, I would have assumed it was just a tantrum. I think I may have to think twice now.....great way to get people to think.
ReplyDelete